Creative Endeavors

Hollywood is suffering thru all this, just like everyone else. My neighbor reports that there were only two people in the theater the other day when he and his wife went to see “88 Minutes” with Al Pacino (that might be the reason right there …. You want to meet my lil fren?). So perhaps it is time for another Block Buster of a movie, a Classic like Gone With The Wind or The Magnificent Seven … Something like that.

Coming to a theater near you this November!

Usammy Leon, American Hero!

The story of a poor impoverished black boy, his father was a Kenyan, Moslem or Muslim, he was not yo’ typical Southern Baptist Ya’ll. His mother, a white American woman from the plains of America, avowed Atheist who seldom prayed in a foxhole or served in the guard. She never cried when Old Yellar died, she wasn’t washed in the blood of the lamb, she never stood up for the Star Spangled Banner, and she wasn’t a John Wayne fan. (I am thinking Rosie Odonnel here?)

Yeah, that is about it. A proven block-buster in the making. Casting directors are now culling applications at the Church of Scientology in LA as we speak, searching for a suitable leading man. I wonder if Eddie Murphy is available. The poignant and incredible story of a small black chile, and his vision, his meteoritic rise to the top.

The incredible pageantry and beauty of the journey! His father deserts his mother when the child was very young and impressionable, forcing him to be a yellow-dog Democrat later on in life. A painful scar that he will not address even to this day.

The father in stereo-typical Afro-fashion, dumps the pregnant chick, leaves the crib, and moves back to Kenya or to a cellphone/internet site in Nigeria. His mother then marries an Indonesian Moslem Webpage Designer (Hey this is MY story!) and then takes the child to Jakarta where he attended a Avant-garde Moslem School and gun range. But as he was a lousy shot and his bomb making skills were marginal at best, she returned him to surf-board/Cabaña boy school in Hawaii.

There he began to learn to speak more smartly, goodlier than everyone else, and impressed powerful peoples. Not like the guy we currently have now.

Later on he attends the best schools in America. Living in a $1.4 million dollar house on the salary of a public servant, he strives to get by, some actually believe he has health care benefits. Briefly working as a civil rights activist in Chicago, he was instrumental in the release of several other Democrats on DNA evidence hearings.

Usammy Leon, he has never had a REAL JOB and now aspires to bag the ultimate affirmative action project in the country, located at the end of Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C. (Hey Marion Barry did it over and over, why can’t this guy?)

Having minimal experience, he enters politics at the state level, quickly rises on his star, to the level of National politics’, although he has virtually no experience in either, just a good working vocabulary. Proudly boasts of his “African Heritage” but his only African connection seems to be a father who managed to impregnate a white girl and then abandon her, poste-haste. (never could figure that one out, born in the USA but you are Afro this and Afro that … Don’t write me any letters!)

In order to liven up things, he attends an afro-centric church that has a preacher that seems to hate Jews, blames America for all the worlds perceived faults, and then he repeatedly covers up for the pastor and the church … Which lately has proven to be a definite disadvantage, so he quickly reverses his “official position” and sells him out and no longer recognizes the man publicly.

The story of a man who … Won’t salute the flag, hates the national anthem, and wants the world to “buy him a coke” … Opening at a theater near you in November 2008 …… Don’t miss this one.

“Hello, is this Usammy Leon?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Usammy Leon, this is Shirley, you remember me? We met at the convention last month in Chicago. We went out and painted the town red, all night long, and you kept commenting on what a good sport I was. You remember Usammy Leon?”

“Uh yeah, I sure do. What’s up Shirley?”
“Well Usammy Baby, I just found out that I am pregnant and I am thinking about killing myself!”
“Say Shirley, you ARE a good sport, aren’t you?”

Having met my total word count for the day, I am now going to retire to the kitchen and stick my head in the oven. The only known and proven cure for … “ED.” (Electoral Dysfunction)

***

Nuts!  I neglected to run down to the Root N Scoot and purchase my lottery ticket for the game tonight.  I am now not going to rich, I am devastated, shocked beyond belief.  What will I tell all those people that are depending on me, Home Depot, Lowe’s, Sears and Target.  (By the way, Home Depot is shutting down 15 stores nationwide, Congress made them do it).

The average man is always waiting for something to happen to him instead of setting to work to make things happen.  For every one person who dreams of making $50,000, a hundred people dream of being left $50,000.  It is the new American Vision, the old one (The American Dream of your Ma & Pa) was cremated by the Bush Administration a long time ago.

The wife looks over at me and she sez …. “You actually think you are going to be rich someday?” and I just smile, my best toothy smile, and I reply … “I don’t think I am ever gonna be stinkin’ rich, but I sure wouldn’t mind smelling bad.”

It’s a frame of mind thing.

The golden opportunity most people are seeing is in themselves.  It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others.  As the world would lead you to believe, which isn’t necessarily so.  Helping others in itself is a reward, the help of others in your life, is a blessing.

But sadly, going it on your own, often just will not get it done.

Really not sure what the exact key to happiness in life might be.  A lot of folks out there, seem to think they have it nailed.  I do however know what the key to unhappiness is.  Trying to please everybody.  So I plug along, each day, I do the best I know how, the very best I am capable of; and I mean to keep on doing this to the bitter end.

If the end bears me out all right, what is said against me will not amount to anything … If the end brings me out wrong, then a thousand Angels swearing in Heaven I was right would make no difference at all.  The sum total of a man’s life isn’t all that much when you weigh it against eternity.  I would like to assume that I am smart enough, strong enough, savvy enough, and capable enough to do it all on my own. 

But I am not … I need the Lord … People need the Lord. 

No shortage of folks who have it all figured out.  Dr. Phil has made millions off of garbage like this, Oprah has cleaned house, both of them expressing concisely this type of rhetoric that is basically useless (in my opinion).  So I weigh it all, make my own conclusions and come up with my own plans.

Find more ammo for my gun without having to register my name and address.

Learn how to save power and live off the grid.

Find and recognize edible plants in the wild

(but this one has to be close to the house, I can not afford the gas)

Undoubtedly, the biggest falsehood of my generation is the assumption that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.  That one quick set of numbers on a Saturday Nite or Wednesday, will solve everything.  With virtually unlimited discretionary income, all the ill’s of the world will completely disappear. 

I-don’t-think-so.com

Don’t really see it happening, not in my neck of the woods anyway.   The first number is twenty-three, the second, forty-one …. Here is another number … YOU DON”T HAVE … Thirty-six.

000

Remember those days when your teacher unexpectedly called in sick? Some hapless substitute walked in, briefly struggled to teach a lesson and then surrendered class time to “study hall.” I used to personally love those days, when some clueless refugee from Junior College showed up and had to face our wolf pack mentalities.

Despite anecdotal and academic evidence that students don’t learn as much from substitutes, many school districts appear to have a problem with truant teachers, especially on sunny Fridays. An Orlando Sentinel reporter recently found that one district had 35% more teachers sick on Fridays than Wednesdays.

A Minneapolis reporter found similar absentee problems there. Duh? Who in their right mind would cut on a Wednesday and then have to come back to two more days of that, even a teacher is smarter than that.

Still fuming over what Obamma-Samma said about our National Anthem, that it was too “bellicose.” And he favored “Teach Me To Smile” or some other inane thing. Not having a lot of that there edumaycayshun that he has, I had to go to my source, I pulled out the old dictionary and looked up the meaning of the word “bellicose.”

It says: “Warlike: ready or inclined to quarrel, fight, or go to war.” Which should be a reasonable line for a Muslim, doesn’t the Koran say to “kill the infidels and non-believers?” I like him to “explain this one off” to a group in say …. Birmingham, Alabama or the Deep South. I learned another new word this week too. Paucity … (1) dearth: an inadequacy or lack of something. (2) fewness: a small number of something.

Oh well, back to reality.

Those wonderous folks over at CW brought us something new. Last night they premiered the first episode of “The Farmer Wants A Wife.” Just what we needed, another hopeless, turn your brain to oatmeal reality show that sucks. (I sure hope that isn’t bellicose sounding to the rest of you?)

Mr. Kountry-Bumpkin goes looking for his Big City wife and leaves his chicken fried bachelor life in the country in search of his personal farmerette (he has of course, his choice of ten women … Yeah that is a reality. Not!). All this takes place in his quiet georgic community, corn and soybeans ripening in the sun, front yards full of plows and tractors on most properties. To give all this up and venture out in search of a woman?

Let’s get real.

Someone chip in and purchase a lap-top for this poor slob (some add on accessories required), let’s get him on-line, “I just finished reading your blog, and I think I am in love.” Bring him up to speed, and make him fill out a “Top Ten List” (reasons to love me) like the rest of us!.

This is the twenty-first century after all.

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