Usammy Leon
Hollywood is suffering thru all this, just like everyone else. My neighbor reports that there were only two people in the theater the other day when he and his wife went to see “88 Minutes” with Al Pacino (that might be the reason right there …. You want to meet my lil fren?). So perhaps it is time for another Block Buster of a movie, a Classic like Gone With The Wind or The Magnificent Seven … Something like that.
Coming to a theater near you this November!
Usammy Leon, American Hero!
The story of a poor impoverished black boy, his father was a Kenyan, Moslem or Muslim, he was not yo’ typical Southern Baptist Ya’ll. His mother, a white American woman from the plains of America, avowed Atheist who seldom prayed in a foxhole or served in the guard. She never cried when Old Yellar died, she wasn’t washed in the blood of the lamb, she never stood up for the Star Spangled Banner, and she wasn’t a John Wayne fan. (I am thinking Rosie Odonnel here?)
Yeah, that is about it. A proven block-buster in the making. Casting directors are now culling applications at the Church of Scientology in LA as we speak, searching for a suitable leading man. I wonder if Eddie Murphy is available. The poignant and incredible story of a small black chile, and his vision, his meteoritic rise to the top.
The incredible pageantry and beauty of the journey! His father deserts his mother when the child was very young and impressionable, forcing him to be a yellow-dog Democrat later on in life. A painful scar that he will not address even to this day.
The father in stereo-typical Afro-fashion, dumps the pregnant chick, leaves the crib, and moves back to Kenya or to a cellphone/internet site in Nigeria. His mother then marries an Indonesian Moslem Webpage Designer (Hey this is MY story!) and then takes the child to Jakarta where he attended a Avant-garde Moslem School and gun range. But as he was a lousy shot and his bomb making skills were marginal at best, she returned him to surf-board/Cabaña boy school in Hawaii.
There he began to learn to speak more smartly, goodlier than everyone else, and impressed powerful peoples. Not like the guy we currently have now.
Later on he attends the best schools in America. Living in a $1.4 million dollar house on the salary of a public servant, he strives to get by, some actually believe he has health care benefits. Briefly working as a civil rights activist in Chicago, he was instrumental in the release of several other Democrats on DNA evidence hearings.
Usammy Leon, he has never had a REAL JOB and now aspires to bag the ultimate affirmative action project in the country, located at the end of Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C. (Hey Marion Barry did it over and over, why can’t this guy?)
Having minimal experience, he enters politics at the state level, quickly rises on his star, to the level of National politics’, although he has virtually no experience in either, just a good working vocabulary. Proudly boasts of his “African Heritage” but his only African connection seems to be a father who managed to impregnate a white girl and then abandon her, poste-haste. (never could figure that one out, born in the USA but you are Afro this and Afro that … Don’t write me any letters!)
In order to liven up things, he attends an afro-centric church that has a preacher that seems to hate Jews, blames America for all the worlds perceived faults, and then he repeatedly covers up for the pastor and the church … Which lately has proven to be a definite disadvantage, so he quickly reverses his “official position” and sells him out and no longer recognizes the man publicly.
The story of a man who … Won’t salute the flag, hates the national anthem, and wants the world to “buy him a coke” … Opening at a theater near you in November 2008 …… Don’t miss this one.
“Hello, is this Usammy Leon?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Usammy Leon, this is Shirley, you remember me? We met at the convention last month in Chicago. We went out and painted the town red, all night long, and you kept commenting on what a good sport I was. You remember Usammy Leon?”
“Uh yeah, I sure do. What’s up Shirley?”
“Well Usammy Baby, I just found out that I am pregnant and I am thinking about killing myself!”
“Say Shirley, you ARE a good sport, aren’t you?”
Having met my total word count for the day, I am now going to retire to the kitchen and stick my head in the oven. The only known and proven cure for … “ED.” (Electoral Dysfunction)
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