Creative Endeavors

Pope Benedict XVI has attacked popular culture and consumerism in a formal address to tens of thousands of young Roman Catholics. The pontiff also warned that natural resources were being squandered, in a speech in Sydney, Australia.

Which I guess is a lot better than talking about pedophiles in the pulpit. Back in the USA Jesse Jackson responded with “No Comment, damn sure, No comment.”

Astronomers analyzing the first images captured by the new Hubble Space Kaleidoscope, which went online Tuesday, announced that they’ve acquired the first concrete evidence that the universe is in a constant state of total weirdness.

The economic news yesterday was bad, bad, and more bad, and it is the lead story of all the newspapers. “A sense of economic gloom gripped Washington on Tuesday,” the New York Times writes. The Washington Post goes with a near-banner headline, “An Economy Thrown Into Turmoil.” USA Today’s front page also features several big arrows; the ones for good things are going down and those for bad things are going up. “So this is what a day of reckoning feels like. … If it wasn’t clear before Tuesday, it is now: This is no ordinary economic crisis, and it won’t be over anytime soon,” the paper writes.

And they wonder why the American consumer confidence is down?

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke testified in front of Congress that economic growth was “on a sluggish pace,” and that on top of that, inflation was a risk.  The Commerce Department reported that wholesale prices were up 1.8 percent, and retail sales rose just 0.1 percent in June over the previous month and were down 0.5 percent when gas-station sales were excluded. The stock market was down 93 points, and stocks in London, Paris, and Tokyo suffered as well.

The dollar fell to a new low against the Euro. Police in California had to be summoned to restore order at a run on a bank, where customers waited in line to withdraw their money. “It was a day of ugliness,” said one analyst quoted in the L.A. Times … “What else can you say?”

Exxon raised the price of a gallon of gas four cents, because they heard that Bob wasn’t coming in on Friday to the refinery in Stickitinyourrear Parrish Louisana.  The lone (sort of) optimistic voice of the day belonged to President Bush, who held a snap press conference at which, in the words of the New York Times “he felt compelled to remind Americans that their deposits were insured up to $100,000.“

Thatta boy Dubya, what a guy!  Off The Radar Again …. Houston we still have a problem.

If you act like a dick in Florida, you will be asked to pay for it.  A 19-year-old man must make an apology to the city of Saratoga Springs for dressing as an inflatable 6-foot penis and then parading across SPAC’s stage at the high school’s graduation last month.  While as an added touch, spraying the folks in the audience with silly string.

Who says you cannot get a quality education in this country anymore?

Calvin Morett of 337 Pyramid Pine Estates must also pay to have the open-apology letter published in the Saratogian newspaper as part of a City Court sentence that calls for him to pay $95 in court fees. He was also ordered to perform 24 hours of community service. Morett had previously pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, a violation. Morett graduated from Saratoga Springs High School last year.

And they sent me to Mr. Moody’s office for less than this, a whole lot less.

Well, that are about it for another one boys & girls, time to get back to work on my upcoming novel for the fall debut on the Oprah Book Club.

Still struggling for that catchy book cover that draws people in.  And I have not come up with a bold title for it, but the basic storyline is as follows:  “Aliens come to earth in a miniature spaceship, who are far more advanced than earthlings.  Apparently they are a important mission, they are in search of carbon based forms of fuel (of which earthlings are one) and they are undergoing a life or death undertaking for their society and/or planet.  Something like our National Elections.”

Earth has something that they need, so they send a representative in the form of these little men (I have not decided on a color as of yet, just know it will not be green) to negotiate a better deal with the inhabitants, kind of like a Connie-do-Leesa type negotiator on a mission for more oil or whatever natural resource you happen to have.

It is kind of a “fish out of water” kind of read, some people are going to hate it and others are going to lap it up. Have not located a publisher at this time.  I am hoping for a let’s all rip this page out, pin it on the wall, and stick in nails, needles, and staples, read it every day kind of thing. Perhaps Oprah will help me to find it a home and make it a must read, this could very well be the new work environment manifest for America.

Realistically speaking, it will probably end up pinned to a refrigerator somewhere with a magnet in the shape of a small piece of fruit, and that is the best I can hope for in the end.  (Hey?  It got my total word count up for the day, works for me)

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Riding bareback, after men and women roped steers, wrestled cattle, and put hot-pink undies on an uncooperative goat at Philadelphia’s first gay rodeo.  “This proves we are normal,” said Jen Vrana, president of the Liberty Gay Rodeo Association.  A strange definition of “normal.”  But then again, I have been two marks off normal for a long time now. 

Somewhat taken a back by all this, I emailed a copy to my friend in PA and asked him, “Is This Normal?” and he immediately mailed me a reply that simply said …….. “Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

A Tennessee man undergoing a security check at a courthouse pulled from his pockets a bag of marijuana and some rolling papers.  He was as expected, promptly arrested.  Two hippies were sitting on a curb, smoking a doobie and a fire truck came down the street, lights ablaze and siren roaring.  As it sped by, the first hippie looked at the second and said ……. “Man, I thought that guy would never leave!”

I read this week where a farmer in Tennessee having a lot of difficulty with high fuel prices, resorted to going back to plowing and working his land with a pair of mules.  He said that it was cheaper to feed the animals, than it was to put fuel in his tractor.  Six months ago, I would not have believed that, but today, strangely I do.

Meanwhile back at home, things are about the same at the ranch … Unregulated joy and fantasy, a new political endomorphic high for the rich.  This phenomenon leads to a recently discovered social inter-reaction it is called Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 

At least I think that is the way I understand it.  My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. What was that old country and western song …All around me I hear the sound of money, but I don’t have a nickel to my name, there’s a lite at the end of the tunnel … I sure hope it aint no damn train.

A fool and his money, stabilize the economy. At a book store near you.

What is it with people? 

People never seem to realize when they have a good deal going for them.  In Bonny Lake Washington, the local residents are complaining because the espresso stands are populated with scantly clad ladies in bikinis or other skimpy outfits.  So now they have a skin crisis in the Northwest, how much is too little.  Not like here, where it is on most occasions … oh gawd … lookie that … way too much.  Leave them girls alone, whats-matter you people anyway.

And in the cool of the afternoon, God walked into the garden … there he found Adam & Steve, what is wrong with this picture?

California this week approved same-sex marriage, they become the second state, after Massachusetts, to approve the measure.  Looks like The Governator is going to have his hands full with the “Girly Men” again.  Do you know what also happened this week back in 1850, 158 years ago?

California became a state,
The state had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California is today, except the women had real breasts, and the men didn’t hold hands.

Have a good weekend, or then again, don’t.  It’s your choice.

I’ll be back.

000 

Growing up as a child, I would often hear the expression “The American Dream” over and over, like some patriotic mantra for the country.  Some invisible goal for every under-achiever who dreamed of a better life, it was a benchmark, a milepost to aspire to. 

Wonder what ever happened to it, this elusive dream of people, who now just barely eek out a living, payday to payday, month after month?

Sadly the American consumer, the average Joe, has just about hit the end of his string, he has gone about as far as he can go.  He’s low on fuel and out of steam, running on a half-tank most of the time, one mark off of empty.

I saw a guy fill up twice yesterday.  Why? 

Because the pump only allows $75 max on a fill up (when you use plastic) and I assume he didn’t get it full, so had to move to another pump in order to top it off (new reading on the card).  A lot of people are now maxed out on the plastic and their homes in serious danger of foreclosure.  Debt to rate payment ratio’s in this day and age are upside down.  Savings account balances in serious decline.

Prices at the store are not exempt, they are increasing faster than most of can keep up with, and there seems to be no relief in sight.  With wages for the most part not meeting these costs, it seems that we are all on some kind of vicious merry-go-round in life.  There are no demands, serious demands, for American products anymore.  Most folks are just hangin’ on hoping against all odds that they will still have a job tomorrow, next week.

You ever notice all those trucks out on the highway, with the trailer doors decorated with a bumper sticker that reads … America Moves By Truck.  They are all delivering goods to “us” the consumer.  They are not headed to some port for export; they are hauling the groceries, the trinkets, the widgets that we as a nation feel we have to have, in order to get by.

72% of our gross domestic product in this country is our consumerism; we are the people buying this crap.  The American consumer has participated willingly on a buying passion that by most standards is obscene.  He has been seduced by Sony, Dell, Verizon, Sharper Image, Cingular, Harley Davidson, Motorola, GM, Ford, Cox Cable, The Dish Network just to name a few.  And at the same time he was cunningly, almost systematically enabled by MasterCard, Visa, American Express, Discover, Merrill Lynch and the recently defunct, Bear Stearns and Lehhman, who were bolstered with troves of cash conveniently supplied by the Fed’s.

Our rising tide of mediocrity in political leadership, the education of our young, has lifted our boats, to take us where.  No where. 

A full 30% of our kids no longer graduate from school, we lag behind other countries in literacy, numeric education and key scholastic and scientific skills.  We are sadly rated something like 24^th in the world on health care.  We are mired down in conflicts around the globe (troops in 144 locations), conflicts that drain our lifeblood away in terms of our youth and our wealth. 

A fabricated affluence at this point, which seems to be mostly non-existent. 

Recently Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Co. made a valiant rally to lift up the spirit and call America back into the fold.  They ran a full page ad in USA Today that said:  “Over the last 105 years in the saddle, we’ve seen wars, conflicts, depression, recession, resistance, and revolutions.  We’ve watched a thousand hand-wringing pundits disappear in our rear-view mirror.  But every time, this country has come out stronger than before.  Because chrome and asphalt put distance between you and whatever the world can throw at you.  Freedom and wind outlast hard times.  And the rumble on an engine drowns out all the spin of the evening news.  If 105 years have proved one thing, it’s that fear sucks and it doesn’t last long.”

It would be nice to assume, that I could grow me a beard, get an ear-ring, put a snot-rag on my head, jump on my hog and ride off into a new era, to allow my un-muffled exhaust blow the cobwebs out of my mind, and forgot about all this. 

This is of course misdirected fantasy.

Now the reality, the world didn’t throw this at us, we did it to ourselves.  It is a well written missive; unfortunately it seems to be absurdly non-apocalyptic in its nature.  It also comes from a company that just sent 15% of its workforce to the house, because no one is buying their products.  Some of us (non Harley Owners) believe we are in serious trouble economically speaking

Coincidentally, just in time, another survey. 

A recently survey of American Voters states that:  “48% of American voters are now saying that America’s best days are past, 38% say they are still to come.” I guess that other 15% are the one’s Harley-Davidson sent to the house, they are so pi**sed off they don’t even want to talk about it. 

Kind of like that old time Gospel song … “The world didn’t give it to me … And the world cannot take it away.”  It would be nice to believe that the “world did this to us” but it didn’t. Now it is time to pay for the band, we check our pockets, and we don’t have the cash.  At the same time … The rest of the world refuses to cash our check.

It is good for Harley-Davidson, that you can fill one up and you don’t have to worry about moving over to the next pump.

Hammer Down Boys … Hammer Down.

000

Related: Illegals are feeling the pinch. USA Today ad Get Out And Ride

I remember when I turned forty (which was awhile ago) I got to thinking about my life, and where it was. At that juncture in time, I was making roughly twice what my father and my mother were making (combined) when they turned forty. But my buying power was diminished something like five times. So, the “good ole days” are or were, not necessarily that good.

Now days, my money don’t even slow down when it gets to me. I always have more month than money. Not that I am complaining, far from it, I live a good life, despite it all. I am just commenting. This morning I arose from my comfortable bed, washed my hands in hot water, made a pot of coffee and started my day. A lot of folks around the world were not afforded that luxury.

I am doing alright.

Oil Companies took out a full page ad in USA Today and they had the audacity to proclaim to the reading public “that they only make .08 cents on a dollar invested.” Yeah sure, and if frogs had wings, they wouldn’t bump their A** when they hopped. Eight cents on the dollar?

Obscene profits indeed. Had to think on this one.

If they make .08 cents on every dollar, or 8%, then it takes 12.5 cents to make 1 cent. (One divided by .08 cents) So, for every $12.50 dollars they make $1 dollar. Therefore, if they make 40 billion, they must have to make 12.5 times that much to earn the 40 billion. It can be more easily figured by multiplying 40 times 12.5 to get a product of 500. Then add the 9 zeros back on and you will see they have 500 billion (1/2 trillion) invested. Whew!

Please give me a piece of that!  Personally speaking, “put any spin on it you want, I am not buying it.”  Bush recently went to Saudia Arabia “hat in hand” to negotiate for more oil, how sad is that, we are reduced to what is tantamount outright begging.  The crown potentate or head Arab in charge, somewhat amused, said no and then sent him packing. 

Stop buying it, let them EAT IT and see what transpires then.  I am or have been, for a month or two, buying $20 a week and that is it.  Just what I need, now I know a lot of you have to purchase more, and you have my sympathy, but that is all I NEED to get by.

Last week the federal government started sending the stimulus package checks which Bush insists will reactivate the economy. It is not a coincidence they sent the checks last week, just in time to buy presents for Jennas wedding.

Jenna Bush got married this past weekend in a simple ceremony in Crawford Texas. The president walked his daughter to the altar and gave her to the groom while the secret service in the background unveiled a banner that read “Mission accomplished.”

Ahhhh, the splendor of it all, the pagentry … I wonder if Connie got drunk afterwards?

Obammy whats-his-name climbed Bush good yesterday and let him have a little taste of it.  Good for him, someone needs to send this guy a reality check.  He has effectively stopped public opinion under the so-called Patriot Act anyway (no protestors within five miles of him at any time). 

Don’t mess with the Obamma, rumor has it that he is being backed by Oprah.  And we all know how all-powerful she is!  She has people buying books that don’t even read … Don’t mess with Oprah or her protege.

Give me some room to breathe, I am trying to find something amusing in the absurdity of it all, but it is albeit, coming to me very slowly. And it is just not the price of oil setting me off this morning, it is the price of virtually everything (which is basically tied to oil anywho).

The price of everything these days astounds me.

Gasoline is actually cheap, it is just the way or manner in which one would look at it. Or it could possibly be, that everything else is so expensive, it MAKES gasoline appear that way. Here is a list of items that could be purchased by the gallon: This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective to other things we buy.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 — ($10.32 per gallon)
Tube of tooth paste —($4) people that brush their teeth live longer, Madison Avenue.
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 — ($9.52 per gallon)
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 — ($10.17 per gallon)
Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, 12oz. — ($7.46)
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 — ($10.00 per gallon)
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 — ($33.60 per gallon)
Box of Cheerios $3.38, Honey-Nuts are more, $4.12
Honey Nuts? I don’t get that at all, kind like Chicken McNuggets, what part of the chicken is that, exactly?
Vick’s Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 — ($178.13 per gallon)
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 — ($123.20 per gallon)
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 — ($25.42 per gallon)
Cheap off brand Orange Juice, $4.00 — Minute Made $5.78
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 — ($84.48 per gallon)
Box of depends, 20, $4.38 (for the bad days)

And this is the REAL KICKER… Evian water 9 oz $1.49 —($21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyer doesn’t even know the source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive).

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap? So they have you hooked for the ink. Someone calculated the cost of the ink at (you won’t believe it) $5,200.00 a gal.

Five thousand two hundred dollars for ink, unbelievable.  So, if you find yourself at the Root N Scoot this weekend, at the pump filling up, be glad your car doesn’t run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!

There you go! The next time the kids drop by to stick their feet under the table and visit awhile, and that inquisitive baby will ask all the questions, you will have some of the answers.

Stuff like: “Grandpa, has a candy bar always cost $20.00? When did Hillary give dogs the right to vote?”

You will know what to say …

000

My favorite guy was on television today explaining the “slow down” for me. Nothing new, I know how to play that game Dubya … Here is one for you …. “Almost Pregnant.” One popular television jingle for tourism down south is “Texas, it’s like a whole nother country, Ya’ll” and now we realize why.

I had it all wrong evidently. Now I will be able to tell all those Con Edison folks in New York, that are 45 days behind on their electric bills, that everything is just swell. I don’t know what your problem might be.

Con Edison is currently turning off 600-650 accounts each month because of non-payment, 3,500 GM workers went to the house yesterday as GM shut down five plants that build pickups and SUV’s. It is about $6,000 to fill up a Lear Jet with fuel these days ($5.21 per gallon).

I suppose Kellog’s in Battle Creek Michigan will be changing Tony The Tiger’s ….. They’re Great! … To a new slogan …. Sure Is Slow Nowadays huh?

The U.S. economy lost 80,000 jobs in the month of March and the numbers are expected to get worse according to those “outside the White House.” Some economists predict that as many as 2 million people could lose their jobs by early next year, when the jobless rate is expected to peak at about 6 percent. Show me the rainbow in that.

The credit card folks have come up with a new wrinkle, the government didn’t bail them out, so they are raising the interest on selected cards. Discover I understand is going to 31% and some cards, across the board, 100% increase. All of the sudden the tree house in Costa Rica is looking better and better, as long as the current price for banana’s holds up, check with me tomorrow.

People in Hood River Oregon might have the answer? Some people there are interested in making Eastern Oregon its own state. Citizens feel they don’t get their fare share from the state government. If a complicated and lengthy process of separation ever played out, the new state line would stretch from east to the Cascade Mountains to the Idaho Border.

The state of Missouri has issued millions of new license plates containing a grammatical error, but officials say they won’t be correcting it. The new plates proclaim Missouri the “Show Me State.” Since this nickname contains a compound modifier before a noun it should read “Show-Me State.” A Missouri spokesman says the design and wording on the new plate was approved by motorists in an online poll.

“If the people want it that way,” he said, “that’s what we’re going to deliver to the people.”

Hot on the heels of his explanation for why he no longer wears a flag pin, presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama was forced to explain why he doesn’ follow protocol when the National Anthem is played.

According to the United States Code, Title 36, Chapter 10, Sec. 171. During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except those in uniform are expected to stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart.

Obamma has reportedly quoted as saying, “As I’ve said about the flag pin, I don’t want to be perceived as taking sides,” Obama then said. “There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression. And the anthem itself conveys a war-like message. You know, the bombs bursting in air and all. It should be swapped for something less parochial and less bellicose. I like the song … ‘I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing.’ If that were our anthem, then I might salute it.”

Are you kidding me? I don’t know what he and his preacher are smoking, but I would like a bag of it for the weekend.

Perhaps it is time to throw in the towel … If these two are the best we have. Pull the stars and stripes down the pole, turn it upside down, and fly it in that manner. (International Sign for Distress) Everything else seems to be unraveling around here.

After watching this debacle on all the channels this day, it is apparent that the only people who know how to run this country are those driving the cabs or cutting hair. The rest of us appear to have a bright future in delivering pizza’s to each other, not withstanding, very slowly.

The Democrats claim they got the gas, and the Republicans are hitting the brakes, the rest of us are just bumps in the road I guess. The only possible relief we may get from all of this is for Quail Season to come early this year, and hope Dick Cheney takes Dubya with him.

I’ll vote for that.

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