Creative Endeavors

How many zeros in a billion? This is too true to be funny. The next time you hear a politician use the word ‘billion’ in a casual manner, think about whether you want the ‘politicians’ spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.  This came to me this week and I will share it with you.

A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let’s take a look at New Orleans it’s amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu, is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it mean?

A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.
B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home gets $1,329,787.
C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

So let us sum up Boys & Girls, this is where we stand today, as of this minute … Step back and take a good hard look at it.

Accounts Receivable Tax Building Permit Tax CDL License Tax Cigarette Tax Corporate Income Tax Dog License Tax Federal Income Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) Fishing License Tax Food License Tax Fuel Perm it Tax Gasoline Tax Hunting License Tax Inheritance Tax Inventory Tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax), IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax), Liquor Tax, Luxury Tax, Marriage License Tax, Medicare Tax, Property Tax, Real Estate Tax, Service charge taxes, Social Security Tax, Road Usage Tax (Truckers), motorfuel tax (motorists)Sales Taxes, Recreational Vehicle Tax, School Tax, State Income Tax, State Unemployment Tax (SUTA), Telephone Federal Excise Tax, Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax, Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax, Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax, Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax, Telephone State and Local Tax, Telephone Usage Charge Tax, Utility Tax, Vehicle License Registration Tax, Vehicle Sales Tax, Watercraft Registration Tax, Well Permit Tax, Workers Compensation Tax.

And I still have to ‘press 1′ for English.

Still believe this is funny? I could go on to “Fee’s” the latest wrinkle in the fabric of America.  Unfortunately, there is a fee for just about everything in the country these days. But I have two lawns to mow today and in the end …… What is the use? You all get the picture, don’tcha? It doesn’t get any better in the end. So here it is, the bottom line, where the rubber meets the road as they say down in Crawford, Americkuh ……

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class on the planet, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened? Can you spell ‘politicians?’

It is from the Greek, Poli (poly) meaning “many” and Tic, from the English, a blood sucking parasite.

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Found myself looking for a statistic this day, but I could not find it.  It was on the American Farmer, I am doing this from memory, it went something like this, “The American Farmer feeds himself and _________ so many other people.”  But I could not remember if it was his family and 46 others or his family and 125. 

Anyone know which one of the two it might be?

Just north of Okie City up on Seventy-Four highway there is a little town in Logan County by the name of Crescent, Oklahoma.  Small, rural farming community on the plains, nothing all that special about it, except that some of my family lives there.  Wheat farmers and cattle ranchers. 

My mother grew up there with her brothers; they used to walk to school on sandy roads, looking over their shoulders at the fresh footprints in the sand, and marveling at how they looked.  Poor kids, depression raised Okies.  Living in an America when shoes were worn for church, visits to town, school, most of the time they went barefooted.  Not a whole lot of money, grew what they needed, and lived off the land.

This week I was thinking about the CO-OP in Crescent, what a big deal it was when it first was established.  A CO-OP is a co-operative for all those who are not farmers or perhaps not familar with the term.  I was thinking this morning how forming a CO-OP benefited these folks.  How it helped the farmers in the area, and brought new prosperity to their little town.  All the farmers in that town (actually in that surrounding area, other towns too) got together and formed a CO-OP and things gradually got better for them. 

The point being that “pooling their resources paid off for the majority” and it improved the quality of their lives.

One of my apparent drawbacks in life is that I have a fertile mind and over active imagination, if you haven’t noticed by now.  So I am thinking.  “Why do we put up with this S*** from all these two-bit countries around the world that happen to be sitting on vast pools of oil. When we are sitting on this breadbasket of wheat, corn, barely and other agricultural products.” 

Why aren’t we making these American products “a valuable commodity in this so-called world market.”  Especially when the government of the United States gives out ample farm subsidies each year to the American Farmer and U.S. AG Business. 

LET ‘EM EAT THEIR OIL.

If they want to eat beef, if they want a bushel of wheat, corn, maize or soybeans, then let us trade for it.  You give us the oil, and we will help you with the groceries.  We are the world’s largest producer of these products, why aren’t we taking full advantage of it.  Other grain exporting countries such as Argentina, the Soviet Union, Australia, Canada, France and certain areas of the U.K. could join in … We could form a Global CO-OP and trade for what we need.

Which would be a lot better than rushing over and “begging for it” as been the case here lately. This, in my opinion, would certainly beat this form of Texas Chainsaw Economics we have now, which is feed and protect these foreign nationals, while “they bank huge sums of money” and we go farther in the hole.

Before we had a money system in this world, before some banker or politician invented paper money (backed by nothing) we “traded for what it was we needed.” (Barter Systems)  Perhaps it is now time to go back to that, this world banking situation doesn’t seem to be working in our favor.

Last year, Syria imported 890,000 metric tons of corn and maize, 147,000 metric tons of wheat, 483,000 million tons of soybeans.  Our good buddies over there in Iran, they came shopping for 1.8 million metric tons of soybeans, 1.8 million tons of corn/maize, and 231,000 million tons of wheat.  This is just two of the many countries that visited our breadbasket, you can add to that:  Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, Venezuela, Nigeria and Russia even came knocking on our doors, all of them calling for enormous quantities of grains from the United States to feed their people.

Clearly I do not advocate starving people for oil, but why not, trade for what we need?  Here is the rainbow in the entire idea.  Doing this would not sufficiently increase the cost of products to the American consumer at all.  As much as I hate this expression … It is a Win/Win kind of thing.

A global CO-OP makes good sense.  Especially when it is apparent that we have so much of it with which to trade.  Why aren’t we taking full advantage of this obvious tilt on the scale in our favor?  Taking it one step further, I guess the next question would be:  “Why aren’t we doing it right now?”

In case you missed it … Here it is again …. Let ‘em eat their oil, get a taste of what it is like to be on the “receiving end of some of this” like the rest of us. 

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Dumb, really dumb.  The city of Brighton, Mich. Is threatening legal action against a local doctor over an unpaid tax bill of $0.51.  Dr. Phil Kaanji says he probable left the cents off a tax check he sent to the city, but says it’s absurd that he’s now being bombarded with registered mail warnings that say “FINAL NOTICE.” 

Each one that is sent, is costing the city $5.21 in order to notify him.  City finance directors said the city has no choice but to pursue any unpaid tax.  “No matter how small.” He said, “we can’t ignore it or waive it.”  Last time I heard something that was about this stupid was when a city sent a notice to a tree. 

When I paid off my credit cards a few years ago, I overpaid each and everyone by like .50 cents or something like that.  You would be surprised how many statements that they will send you (at .42 cents each) telling you of your overpayment and how it will be applied to your next statement.  I have to admit, I got a perverse charge out of that, for some 8-10 months afterwards.

Do you know how to tell if you are over your limit on the card?  When you are standing at Lowe’s and they swipe your card to pay for the items ….. If the lites in the building suddenly dim a little bit … You are over your limit.  Remember that.

An Oklahoma home builder has switched to smaller homes, after years of building 6,000 sq. ft. homes he has recently started building smaller 1800 sq ft homes.  As American’s continue to cut back on many things, housing is one of them.  Lowe’s and Home Depot posting big losses this year.  Motorhome sales in the U.S. are predicted to shrink some 305,000 units this year because of the higher cost of fuel.  A dealer in Denver that I know says that the market has “gone soft” a more appropriate description might be gushy or flat out vanished.

I am reminded of Ross Perot ….. “Listen for that gigantic sucking sound as the jobs go to Mexico.”  …. Whoosh!

If you have some spare space around your place, you might call one of the major airlines, I hear they are looking for tarmac parking space for a lot of airplanes as no one is traveling this year.  Spring is over and now we rush headlong into summer, some say the banking crisis is over, having been frozen solid for months, it is now going to magically thaw out. 

You remember the bank don’t cha?  This is the place that has ten windows and two tellers, that is the bank.  A modern day phenomenon that only a banker would be capable of understanding.

(Yeah I know, don’t get me started)

If you are in a meat market in Los Angeles and you poke the turkey to see how tender it is, you are breaking the law.  If you meet another guy on the beach and decide to get married, it is perfectly legal ….. go figure.  Been a wild and whacky month here in the Great Middle Class Nation. 

Shaped and molded into a modern day “Globalization Empire” that was honed with instruments such as outsourcing, off-shoring, firing at will.  The Republican and/or Democratic elegy for our vanishing American way of life.

The land of equality or a bankers Utopia, you make the call. 

End of the month, mark another “X” on the calendar, one more tired dead soldier put down to rest.  The government is giving me my money back this week, (borrowed from China I suppose) hey, I am on a roll.

I got it made in the shade.

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Related:  Notice to a tree.

I remember when I turned forty (which was awhile ago) I got to thinking about my life, and where it was. At that juncture in time, I was making roughly twice what my father and my mother were making (combined) when they turned forty. But my buying power was diminished something like five times. So, the “good ole days” are or were, not necessarily that good.

Now days, my money don’t even slow down when it gets to me. I always have more month than money. Not that I am complaining, far from it, I live a good life, despite it all. I am just commenting. This morning I arose from my comfortable bed, washed my hands in hot water, made a pot of coffee and started my day. A lot of folks around the world were not afforded that luxury.

I am doing alright.

Oil Companies took out a full page ad in USA Today and they had the audacity to proclaim to the reading public “that they only make .08 cents on a dollar invested.” Yeah sure, and if frogs had wings, they wouldn’t bump their A** when they hopped. Eight cents on the dollar?

Obscene profits indeed. Had to think on this one.

If they make .08 cents on every dollar, or 8%, then it takes 12.5 cents to make 1 cent. (One divided by .08 cents) So, for every $12.50 dollars they make $1 dollar. Therefore, if they make 40 billion, they must have to make 12.5 times that much to earn the 40 billion. It can be more easily figured by multiplying 40 times 12.5 to get a product of 500. Then add the 9 zeros back on and you will see they have 500 billion (1/2 trillion) invested. Whew!

Please give me a piece of that!  Personally speaking, “put any spin on it you want, I am not buying it.”  Bush recently went to Saudia Arabia “hat in hand” to negotiate for more oil, how sad is that, we are reduced to what is tantamount outright begging.  The crown potentate or head Arab in charge, somewhat amused, said no and then sent him packing. 

Stop buying it, let them EAT IT and see what transpires then.  I am or have been, for a month or two, buying $20 a week and that is it.  Just what I need, now I know a lot of you have to purchase more, and you have my sympathy, but that is all I NEED to get by.

Last week the federal government started sending the stimulus package checks which Bush insists will reactivate the economy. It is not a coincidence they sent the checks last week, just in time to buy presents for Jennas wedding.

Jenna Bush got married this past weekend in a simple ceremony in Crawford Texas. The president walked his daughter to the altar and gave her to the groom while the secret service in the background unveiled a banner that read “Mission accomplished.”

Ahhhh, the splendor of it all, the pagentry … I wonder if Connie got drunk afterwards?

Obammy whats-his-name climbed Bush good yesterday and let him have a little taste of it.  Good for him, someone needs to send this guy a reality check.  He has effectively stopped public opinion under the so-called Patriot Act anyway (no protestors within five miles of him at any time). 

Don’t mess with the Obamma, rumor has it that he is being backed by Oprah.  And we all know how all-powerful she is!  She has people buying books that don’t even read … Don’t mess with Oprah or her protege.

Give me some room to breathe, I am trying to find something amusing in the absurdity of it all, but it is albeit, coming to me very slowly. And it is just not the price of oil setting me off this morning, it is the price of virtually everything (which is basically tied to oil anywho).

The price of everything these days astounds me.

Gasoline is actually cheap, it is just the way or manner in which one would look at it. Or it could possibly be, that everything else is so expensive, it MAKES gasoline appear that way. Here is a list of items that could be purchased by the gallon: This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective to other things we buy.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 — ($10.32 per gallon)
Tube of tooth paste —($4) people that brush their teeth live longer, Madison Avenue.
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 — ($9.52 per gallon)
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 — ($10.17 per gallon)
Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, 12oz. — ($7.46)
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 — ($10.00 per gallon)
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 — ($33.60 per gallon)
Box of Cheerios $3.38, Honey-Nuts are more, $4.12
Honey Nuts? I don’t get that at all, kind like Chicken McNuggets, what part of the chicken is that, exactly?
Vick’s Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 — ($178.13 per gallon)
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 — ($123.20 per gallon)
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 — ($25.42 per gallon)
Cheap off brand Orange Juice, $4.00 — Minute Made $5.78
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 — ($84.48 per gallon)
Box of depends, 20, $4.38 (for the bad days)

And this is the REAL KICKER… Evian water 9 oz $1.49 —($21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyer doesn’t even know the source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive).

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap? So they have you hooked for the ink. Someone calculated the cost of the ink at (you won’t believe it) $5,200.00 a gal.

Five thousand two hundred dollars for ink, unbelievable.  So, if you find yourself at the Root N Scoot this weekend, at the pump filling up, be glad your car doesn’t run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!

There you go! The next time the kids drop by to stick their feet under the table and visit awhile, and that inquisitive baby will ask all the questions, you will have some of the answers.

Stuff like: “Grandpa, has a candy bar always cost $20.00? When did Hillary give dogs the right to vote?”

You will know what to say …

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The Shooter (Dick Cheney) was in town recently, it appears that he was also in Tulsa.  Big doin’s on the biscuit & gravy circuit here lately, we have to get our man up on the hill, gimme your money.  He, much like his loopy counter-part are blaming everyone for this mess, except those in charge. Funny when it comes time to face the music, everyone seems to out of town (Washington DC).

The Veep says that the Democrats are responsible for the current round of motor-fuel induced suffering in Gasoline Alley.  Bush was on record recently saying the very same thing, I didn’t do it, it was the Congress.  Now as the fragile fabric of the nation’s underbelly unravels we are getting specific, “it was the Democrats.”

Those dirty-egg sucking dawgs!

So all you consumers of “earl,” the black elixir of the moneyed kings of the world, the power brokers of black gold, can sit back and relax, they have the culprits in their gun sights.  They are going to pounce on them like a mad pit bull at a mailman’s convention. 

Cover me Dubya, I am reloading.

We have isolated the problem according to our illustrious NRA Vice Pres. It is all those Eskimo’s sitting on reserves up north, and these Democrats at home.  He also had the audacity to say that:  “When the history is written, it will be said this is a safer country and more hopeful world because George W. Bush was president.”  I suppose it will, if it written by Biggy Rat & Itchy Brother, check Borders.com in the near future for a hard copy or CD.

He also said before leaving T-Town, the economy was hitting a “rough patch” and that “some in Washington view as an excuse to expand the size and scope of government.”  This from a member of an administration that is currently building bridges and roads, in a country that doesn’t have automobiles. 

Rough patch?  How about monumental-humongous-Pothole … When is someone going to come to the microphone that has something to say besides lies. 

All this contrived shortage is about avarice, greed and personal agendas.

THE RECORD SPEAKS DIFFERENTLY.

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