Creative Endeavors

The key to my survival

Was never in much doubt

The question was how I could keep sane

Trying to find a way out

Things never seem easy for me

Peace of mind here lately, hard to find

I need a place where I can hide

Somewhere new I can call mine

They say time is a healer

And now my wounds are not the same

I ring the bell with my heart in my mouth

To hear what he has to say

In a moment, your entire world can shatter

Like morning dreams and mist on the lawn they disappear

Like dust in my hands falling softly to the floor

How can life ever be the same

Or stay the same ever more

Like I said

Things never seem easy for me

Peace of mind here lately,

Awfully hard to find

I need a place where I can hide

Somewhere new I can call mine.

000

ONE MORE MOUNTAIN TO CROSS

How can we know,

how far,

the long way can be

Looking from where we are,

it never seemed that long to me

I’ve many miles behind me,

and maybe now,

not so much ahead

Looking back,

it seems I made good time,

even with the directions I miss-read

a Funny thing,

This thing called time,

A thing we are always running out of

A thing we can never seem to find

I am always coming up short

or losing mine

There’s not enough of it about,

and though it’s always here

It always seems to come and go I’ve found out

No gas,

no money,

it is weighing heavy on my mind

I am moving quickly to the bottom line

I still have places I want to see,

I still have hills to climb

No more going quietly into the dark night

Here is my reality

No more drives in the country burning daylight.

It looks like I am flat out running out of time

A hammock on the front porch is all that is left for me.

Locked down and serving my time,

Here on the sound side of my city.

000

Might get us out on the boulevard

Out on to the asphalt

Where the big rigs full of LED’s

lead the way

When I am feeling well

I am wanting to go somewhere

To a place not crowded by barking dogs and folks

Into the mountains and clean air

Mile after mile of two-lane tree lined roads

This is it

The one life you get

No matter how hard you try

You’ll never do it all

This is it

The only life you get

Go have a ball

Take a moment

Stop and enjoy the view

As you stumble and muddle your way through

This is it

This is it

The only life you will ever get

000

When I was a boy, the devil would taunt me and call my name,

He would say to me who do you,

who do you think you are fooling

And we would play the game

Today I sit in the house, with a cup of coffee in hand

and I think of Bakersfield or Flagstaff Arizona

all the places I have been

I sit here somewhat wounded and bleeding

Licking the cuts

I want desperately to find a two-lane and own it

Replete with soft shoulders

Pot holes and fences

Take me from this miserable city

With its noise, dirt, crime and petty offenses

The open road, my old heart is calling for you once again

C’mon baby, give me a little more of you

C’mon baby, yeah, give me a little more of you

Walk a little ways in my shoes

No more nosy neighbors or barkin dogs

Electric bills or natural gas

Give me the road

And kiss the part of me

That goes over the fence last.

I hear the train in the distance

Such a lonely sound it makes,

When it is gone there is only silence

So quiet, you can hardly hear the sound of my heart as it breaks.

Tuesday morning in the Big Town.

000

There was a time in my now begotten youth
When I could have stole a woman from any man
Nothin’ fancy
Just plain truth
That is just the way I am
That is just the way I am.

Now many years later,
I find myself with more than one lady
Knocking on my door
Wanting to share my life
For a day
An hour or more.

Doin’ her best to try and warp my mind
Making a mess of it
Most of the time
Time slowly marches on
My visions of youth grown dimmer
With each coming new dawn
Approaching the autumn of my winter.

Tonight I am thinking of all the broken dreams
Best laid plans
Hope’s
And schemes.

After all the old familiar stories are told
Will the truth really be known?
I kinda doubt it
I kinda doubt it.

The looking glass suddenly tells me
I am hitting the middle of my years
I can hardly believe what it is,
that I see,
Glancing upon shades of grey in my beard
My body has placed tell-tale markers
For all the world to see.

Little distinct lines giving my life more meaning
My tired old body has begun to play tricks on me
It simply will not let me tell my lies,
When I call upon it
It answers up “No” most of the time.

Things are different now,
In my clouded looking glass
all the signs are there
Tiny little notices of coming things
Things yet to be
Perhaps a dream of happier times
Are now waiting for me?

In my mirror all the signs are there
Little tell tale markers,
placed there by the hand of God above,
In the autumn of my years …

“Inside every man there is a poet who died young.”

***

cast aside like an old used rag
I stood vainly by
my heart in my hand
waiting and hoping
for but just one more chance.

Wishing we could start anew
wishing we could somehow
put it all together again
wishing you and I
were but friends in the bitter end.

And now I know
what happened to us so long ago
what it was that hurt you so
why you put your love up on the shelf
just slightly out of my reach

Ah, faded summer love,
all I ever asked for was
simple pleasures your soft caress upon my face.

The pleasure of your company
on a hot muggy summer day
your voice on the telephone
perhaps a quiet dinner
a bottle of wine
one hour with you totally alone
a night out on the town sometime.

To take in a movie
to sit on a bench in the park for awhile
some quiet conversation,
to see your smile.

Spending a minute or two thinking of you this day
tucked away in the quiet solitude of my special place,
yearning for the touch of your hand
smoothing the wrinkles upon my face.

Alas I am sad my dear,
summer love,
shake the fiber of my being,
rushing into my life but once again,
as I gaze upon the sun slowly sinking,
I find myself thinking of you,
Summer Love
cast aside like an old used rag
I stood vainly by
my heart in my hand
waiting and hoping
for but just one more chance.
wandering through the long days that never seem to end.

***

Cast aside like an old used rag

I stood vainly by

my heart in my hand

waiting and hoping

for but just one more chance.

Wishing we could start anew

wishing we could somehow

put it all together again

wishing you and I

were but friends in the bitter end.

And now I know

what happened to us so long ago

what it was that hurt you so

why you put your love up on the shelf

just slightly out of my reach

Ah, faded summer love,

all I ever asked for was

simple pleasures your soft caress upon my face.

The pleasure of your company

on a hot muggy summer day

your voice on the telephone

perhaps a quiet dinner

a bottle of wine

one hour with you totally alone

a night out on the town sometime.

To take in a movie

to sit on a bench in the park for awhile

some quiet conversation,

to see your smile.

Spending a minute or two thinking of you this day

tucked away in the quiet solitude of my special place,

yearning for the touch of your hand

smoothing the wrinkles upon my face.

Alas I am sad my dear,

summer love,

shake the fiber of my being,

rushing into my life but once again,

as I gaze upon the sun slowly sinking,

I find myself thinking of you,

Summer Love

cast aside like an old used rag

I stood vainly by

my heart in my hand

waiting and hoping

for but just one more chance.

wandering through the long days that never seem to end.

***

A sun beam to warm you
Good luck to charm you
A sheltering Angel so nothing can harm or bother you
Laughter to cheer you
Faithful friends near you
And whenever you take time to pray
God in Heaven to hear you.

There’s a road
a winding road that never ends.
Full of curves lessons learned at every bend.
Going’s rough unlike the straight and narrow.
It’s for those who go against the grain.
Have no fear, dare to dream of change.
Live to march to the beat of a different drummer,
and it all seems to come together.
Or at times, it all might come unraveled, on the road less traveled.

A night under a blanket of stars out on what is left of the prairie,
if you can find a spot where the city lights don’t crowd out the heavenly neighbors above.
Sunset on the beach out on the westcoast,
the waves crashing, and the smell of the surf in the air.
Walking barefoot over fresh cut grass, a thing of the past now.
A bride and a groom holding hands at the altar,
a new life setting stage to begin.
Hot doughnuts on Saturday morning, I like the kind with the grape jelly inside.
Long awaited vacation and new people, places and happenings.

A hug from a friend
A clean house, with clear windows
A letter from someone you love
A card from a friend
A telephone call on the weekend

A freight pulling the hill in the distance
Geese flying North
A baby’s laugh or a woman’s soft,
sexy whisper in the dark.
Longer days and warmer nights.
April, when a Man’s thoughts turn to lighter fancy things and simple delights.

Have a great and wondrous happy-delightful-day, “it makes people wonder what it is that you are up to.”

000

I yearn to journey to a time so very long ago,
A time of misguided youth
Of long lazy summer days
A blanket of little white lies
And whispered simple truths.

Back to a time of simplicity
When life was but a joy
So care free
Uncluttered with obligations
When my vigor and strength
Remained with me all day
A time of few responsibilities.

Back to a time
When I was trim and fit
My arms taught as iron
Back straight and lean
A time now almost obscured and forgotten
A time that somehow sadly escapes me.

Sad truth is
The doctor says I smoke too much
That I am carrying excess
Weight upon my frame
My belly is hanging over the belt
And sometimes
I have trouble hearing the words
My sweet little woman has to say.

For the years are catching me
Fate somehow has my name
I will never, never again
Relive those days
As I search the lines upon my face
As my beard slowly turns grey.

So I trudge on
Day by day
Shouldering the load
I have been appointed to carry
Filling my plate to the brim
Eating too much
Lifting my glass
Drinking to be merry.

Now in the late hours of the night
I steal back to romance
Back to the years of my misguided youth
A time of little white lies
And whispered simple truths

And in the background
The fiddler of time is softly playing
But I am too fat, too tired,
To hear the tune for by one more short dance
Here it is he find me
Sitting in my easy chair
Sadly wishing I had it all back
My misguided youth
Yearning to be back to Romance.

***