Another Crap Sandwich

Bad Diet.

We are being fed one crap sandwich after another, and unfortunately, it appears that from here on out, it is crap sandwiches as far as the eye can see. Secretary of the Treasury Paulson says the U.S. Economy is not out of the woods, and in for some more tough sledding. This naturally occurs when you a hire a fox to watch the chicken house as they say in rural America.  Things are so bad, Mexico is considering building their own fence to keep out Wall Street Brokers, financial advisory personnel and stock brokerage workers.

Naked Gnomes of Finance.

With the titan’s of finance standing humbled and broken amongst us, no hero’s on the horizon to turn to. Having invested lavishly in financial instruments neither they, nor virtually anyone else truly understood, the entire house of cards came tumbling down in a matter of weeks. When we looked for all those people “that ran on a platform of LEADERSHIP all we found were a bunch of bickering, fighting children” talking ideologies and hurling blame and hurt feelings, but offering little in the way of solutions. That right there, is enough to throw water on any good ol boy’s parade. To feed ‘em their own words … That is Priceless.

Professionals at work.

See how Congress has modified the Paulson Plan.  Originally 2 pages, now 451+ pages.  This excerpt shows an important addition (perhaps omitted due to an oversight by Secretary Paulson), that illustrates an important aspect of our political regime.  All the hogs rushed to the trough and this is what they added.

Change The Logo

It is fairly easy to be a Politically Correct Liberal in America, especially when you live in a gated community. The Republican Party should change their national emblem from an elephant to a prophylactic, because it stands for inflation, halts production, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives a false sense of security when one is being screwed. Assuming that either the left win or the right wing gains control of the country, it will probably just fly around in circles and of course, passing out worthless checks.

Backyard gardening, now you can grow your own.

Health food stores are experiencing a rush in Italy as researchers isolated an erection inducing plant compound in a widely sold Chinese Herb know as “Horny Goat Weed” (No, I am not making this up) the compound icarin, may be as effective as Viagra, they are saying. We have “medical marijuana” why not grow something useful right next to it, if you find yourself watering for more than four hours, call a physician.

Times are really getting bad now.

Playboy is laying off bunnies, but there is a bright side, think of all the money Hugh Hefner will save on batteries! And the world economy continues to take more casualties.  This morning I read where one of my overseas friends is getting down and it takes one more casualty.

Take care … Things will get better … I hope.

Don’t be a victim Jen, be a cheer leader!

Like my sainted Grandmother used to say ….. Look for the Rainbow Donnie … There is always a good side. As Michael Beaudet of Key West, Florida said after being rescued from his disabled sail boat after being adrift for some six days: “First the rum ran out, the cigarettes ran out, then the food ran out, and then the water was gone. Thank God for the rain!”

Sign of the times

Highway authorities throughout the country are being bedeviled by thieves who keep stealing highway markers bearing the numbers “666” or “66.6.” In New Jersey at least four such signs have been swiped, either by religious zealots who are upset with the numbers’ biblical association with the devil, or by young people who think it is cool to have a 666 sign in their bedrooms. Officials are countering with changing the route to 665.

Pass me the Salsa and some of them chips.

Within a decade, Mexico will catch up to the U.S. to become one of the worlds fattest nations, the Mexican government announced this week. Already, half of Mexicans are overweight and obesity among children is rising steadily. New cases of high blood pressure and diabetes have increased more than 25% over the past five years.

Low class act.

Adran Ghalib, the paparazzo who dated Britney Spears during her long downward spiral is peddling a two-hour sex tape of the singer, in which she performs wearing nothing by a pink wig. He said he is “open to the best offer” but … get this … Is too much of a gentleman to reveal any embarrassing information about his ex. I am not interested in selling out any other details about Britney. Talk about a bottom-feeder this has to be him.

Isolate the problem.

During Gov. Sarah Palin’s (R-AK) speech in Florida this morning, campaign staffers kept the press locked out of the park and away from supporters attending the speech. Constantly under the watchful eyes of security, the media wasn’t permitted to wander around inside Coachman Park to talk to Sarah Palin supporters. When reporters tried to leave the designated press area and head toward the bleachers where the crowd was seated, an escort would dart out of nowhere and confront him or her and say, “Can I help you?” and turn the person around.

When one reporter asked an escort, who would not give her name, why the press wasn’t allowed to mingle, she said that in the past, negative things had been written. The campaign wanted to avoid that possibility Monday. Palin has still yet to give a single press conference since being tapped as Sen. John McCain’s running mate on August 29.

Where the **** are we?

Speaking at a San Francisco fundraiser on Sunday, Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK) “fumbled” while praising U.S. soldiers in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, referring to Afghanistan as a “neighboring country”: “They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan,” she told several hundred supporters at a fund raising event in San Francisco. Afghanistan borders neither the United States nor Iraq.

Asian geography appears equally difficult for Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), who has discussed an imaginary Iraq-Pakistan border. Perhaps they took Geography 101 at the Michael Jackson School located in Never-Never-land-California (an ideal or imaginary place).

Here is a real eye opener.

If you want to read something really interesting on McSame here is the link. It is rather long, but well worth the read, it is supposed to be published in Rolling Stone next month. You can find all 11,000 words of it here. Make Believe Maverick It might change your mind and it might not.

Middle of the week for a five-day wage slave in Oklahoma.

We now we see that money will buy you a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. Lately I find it hard to be happy, upbeat, truly amusing. Early in the morning and I am fresh out of aphorisms to describe the pain I feel. I don’t have a short, pointed sentence to express a wise observation or a general truth, I just have this.

So, as the bantering and bickering continue, one fact remains constant, from a political standpoint, we are not getting much better than what we have had, geographically speaking they really seem to be lost as a goose.  It looks like four more years of the same.

And if that is the case, Lord help us!


Tooo Much Disunity

Coming back to bite you in the rear. Bail Out Blues.

What most people do not realize, is all of this, every stinking minute of it, has happened before. Just think back to the late seventies and eighties. Back to Charlie Keating, the banker and anti-pornography crusader would ultimately be convicted on 73 counts of fraud and racketeering for his role in the savings-and-loan scandal of the 1980s.

That crisis, much like today’s sub-prime-mortgage meltdown, resulted from misbegotten banking deregulation, and ultimately left taxpayers to pick up a tab of more than $124 billion. Keating, who raised more than $100,000 for McCain’s race, lavished the first-term congressman with the kind of political favors that would make Jack Abramoff blush.

Same circus … Just a different set of clowns. People who do not learn from their mistakes … are prone to repeat them.

How does this country or democracy ever figure it can conquer evil in the world, when it can’t even clean up its own act? Having failed miserably to effectively communicate with your own peers in society and do nothing to enhance the good life of others, what makes our government believe they can accomplish this lofty goal in other locales around the world.

What we desperately need to teach to our young, what we as a nation, need to observe and apply are a few basic rules. YOU are the answer to the dilemmas in YOUR life. You are the answer to God’s expectations for YOUR life. YOU are the answer to that which is required of you in this plan. Stop being a failure before God and men. Start doing what you know you are supposed to do. Quit waiting on others to get it together, you are the answer.

It appears that we have been at this so long; we have become dysfunctional and have forgotten the questions.

As my favorite Texas Chigger would say … “We have too much disunity in this country.” Kind of have to agree with that, at least today, I do. Let’s do some trash talking about this and that, see what pops up?  Find us some common ground with which to conversate … Whut up?

My other buddy, Bill Clinton is down in Florida stumping for the Obammer crowd and judging wet T-Shirt contests. I have not heard anything lately about the Born Again Moose Gooser, but I know she is out there somewhere, I feel her gun-sites on the back of my neck. In a few short minutes I will glean the net, and I am sure she will be there somewhere, she can run, but she cannot hide, as Reagan used to say.

Take a ride on the Peace Train Xpress here.

Here is another rule for you. It is called the 50-50-90 rule. It simply means that you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right in a conversation with other people, and that 90 percent of the time that you will more than likely have it wrong.

If you don’t believe me, I will introduce you to my Mother-In-Law and SHE will explain it to you.

A recent survey shows that three out of four people make up seventy-five percent of the world’s population. Here is something else I do not understand. If is hard for me to understand how a local cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the “high price of living.” That just doesn’t even come close to making sense to me.

If the shoe fits … get another one … just like it.

I got some new tennis shoes this past weekend, $39.95 and for that price, they do not blink, light up, have an arrow on the side, are too small for Michael Jordan, but they suit me just fine. I am saving up for some new sunglasses and my very own male thong.

While cruising the mall, I also thought about investing in one of these electronic play station things, man, they are totally out of control on these electronic gizmo’s! When the latest model comes out before Christmas, they will cost more than a three bedroom home in Los Gatos, California, for cyin’ out loud. Also looked at some digital cameras, now I have over 40 digital camera’s to choose from, it was a lot simpler a couple of years ago, when there were only 12.

  • A fine is for doing something wrong.
  • A tax is a fine for doing well
  • The lottery is a tax for taxpayers who are really bad at math.
  • I believe George Wubya ought to give me an additional $1200, $1800 if I have two kids.
  • Come to think of it, our kids are gone, you can keep the cash, I am doing just fine.

The only real cure for insomnia is to get more sleep. Money cannot buy happiness, but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo. As I gaze into my magic crystal ball (actually it is a semi warm cup of coffee, but the reflections are adequate this morning in the dim light of my inner sanctuary … oooooh, that was nice, I liked that one) I see that life has taught us many lessons (some physically painful, others not) but always at the core of these teachings is one simple philosophy:

The World Wide Web Is For Sharing.

So as we stumble forth in our never-ending quest for unselfishness, the perfect Denver Omelet at the Local Denny’s Restaurant, we give the most generous gift we can offer you gracious web-surfer, it is the wisdom of our most wondrous sage, Ralph Henderson

Who said this: “Finding your Emu in Valhalla is the point of every man’s green piglet.”

Now reign in your disunity and go forth and have a wonderful day.