Stress Management

Starting to load up again, I can feel it. I need to figure out a new way to deal with my stress. I have for instance, been going around to garage sales.

Garage sales are good for dealing with stress issues.

Here is what you do, you search out these little snow globes, they are these small intricate glass objects with cute itsy-bitsy Bambi type animals inside, you shake them and the snow starts swirling around inside.

Then you get a hammer.

I have to do something, I am so sick of the “Bail out – Federal Give Away” whatever they are calling it this week. Whether or not Sarah Palin’s lipstick is tattooed, knocked-up daughters, petty little nonsense issues.

We need to get back to what I call the good old days, when you were wondering if Britney has her underwear on, ongoing terrorist threats that never seem to materialize, sober intelligent discussion on whether or not Jesse Jackson can actually legally marry people, the last place Elvis was spotted that was not a K-Mart.  Whether or not Helen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are going to really adopt a baby.

2nd day of October … Time to get the shot.

Flu season is rapidly approaching, time to trot down and let them shoot a dead virus into your system to keep you healthy. I never quite understood how that works exactly, but I go get the shot every year religiously. Why? Because I have been sick and I have been healed. And brother, healed is much, much better.

So I asked my doctor, what is the best way to avoid the flu?

He said: How do you avoid the flu? Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies. Then you take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C. Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system. You need to walk for at least one hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator. Wash your hands often, if you cannot wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around. Get lot’s of fresh air. Also, do your level best to relieve your stress as much as you can. Get plenty of rest

Now stop and think about the doctor’s approach, think about it. When you go in for a shot, what do they do first …. Swab your arm with alcohol, why? Because alcohol kills germs, that’s why. So this is what I do, follow the advice. I walk to the liquor store (exercise). I put lime in my Corona (fruit). Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies). Drink outdoors on the patio in the backyard (fresh air). Tell jokes, laugh (eliminate stress). Then I pass out (Rest).

The way I see it … If you keep your alcohol levels up …

You don’t have to worry about the flu.*

Gotta go, time to go over to E-Bay and check on some Snow Globes.

000

*None of this should be construed as “medical advice” if you are sick, go see a doctor, don’t be a dummy.