How Do They Know I am NOT in Texas?


I open up my FakeBook account and there it is, “So and so, says you are not in Texas, you are in Oklahoma.”  (Sanity Fix According to Mike Crouch, your still in Oklahoma and if the lake don’t rise will see you tomorrow…….How in the ____ did they know that?

Do they have GPS strapped to the underbody of the beast, when I pulled into the Flyin Hooker to purchase copious amounts of ancient dead hydrocarbon based animals.  Did they surreptitiously slither underneath my old hoopie and place a tracking doo-hickey (Okie Technical term) to follow me around the country.

By the way, “I do not personally know anyone that goes by that name,” that is kind of buggin me too.

weather windowOnce again, like the proverbial snake in the garden, technology, rears its ugly head, and comes rushing into my life.  Now all of you over-achievers who are used to technology, who run into its waiting arms and embrace it, this is possibly no big deal. 

But to me, a crusty old fart, sitting in a rocking bus, that apparently has thanks to Bob, morphed into a boat, it is rather scary.

You are NOT supposed to know where I might be at the current moment. 

MasterCard, VISA and Bank of America cannot find me, but you can?  What is wrong with this picture.  Which reminds me, “the wife is diggin around in some of MY stuff and she says, what are these checkbooks doing in here?  We don’t have any money.”  I tell her, “they are here, so we can write a check for the repairs, which will buy us a little time to get back home.” 

It pays to think ahead.

So boys and girls, the jig is up.  We are not “Deep in the Heart of Texas” we are here, 28 miles east of Guam in some kind of horrendous typhoon or reasonable facsimile of one.  It was just an expression … you know, “The stars are bright and the moon is light, deep in the heart of Texas!”

Just another bookmark in time in my twisted, perverted, heavily sedated life.

An Okie two feet over the line in Texas is in big trouble anyway.  I grew up on the Red River when I was a kid, and those people on the other side (Texans) used to throw dynamite at us kids!


We of course, picked it up, lit the fuse, and threw it back.

Gawd Bless Texas.


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One thought on “How Do They Know I am NOT in Texas?

  1. Low level NSA Satellites come to mind DS. If one has a “friend” or two in that biz, I’m just sayin’ !!!


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