Jus Sayin 7315

Tuxedo Don
I believe JayLo is better looking than Brittany thumbs up.

I believe “standing by one-self is impossible.”
(I was just beside myself officer, no really)
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

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What Is Next …

Mississippi State Flag

The above is a screen shot of the State Flag of Mississippi you dumb pricks.  Like it or not Sparky …The Confederate Flag is part of our culture, why not just leave it alone? It is seen as Racist, because all of you ignorant numb-chucks choose to make it so.

Nothing more.

While you are at it, impeach the Governor of South Carolina and every other Willy-Nilly in this country who is currently running around shouting … “The Sky Is Falling …The Sky Is Falling … ”

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Heat Wave

We’re having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave …  American’s are sweltering in the heat and there seems to be no relief in sight.  No power and what is on line, is severely strained to the point of brownouts, I believe they are called “rolling black outs” now.  This is what happens to a country that sits back and ignores its infrastructure and invests all of its resources in wars and defense of enemies that somehow never seem to materialize.

Speaking of defense, I have it on good authority, that the last soldier in the War on Drugs died this week ….. Of old age.

We desperately need to prioritize our goals and do a little internal house cleaning in this country … that is … If there is time left for us to do that what needs to be done.  We are almost to the point of not knowing c’mere from sick ’em.  This latest boon-doggle from the U.S. Supreme Court is a fairly good indicator.

For the first time in a long, long while the inflow of illegals into this country has ceased, it is now a negative number.  This could be because of the new policy of posting huge billboards along the U.S. – Mexican border displaying job statistic’s in English and Spanish on this robust economy we are now suffering … uh … living in.

To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.  They figure that o

lder people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.  I started to cry when I thought of some of you.  Then it dawned on me …  I’ll Probably see you on the bus!

What else we got?

Let me see …

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.

”Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest.

“Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanting to use  leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.”

“In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it, ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen Van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by.  This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist.

“They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress.  Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation; however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.

”That’s preposterous,”said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee.  “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us.  They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event.  So, what did we do?  We invited them to the party!  What could be more friendly than that?

You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”

When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. 
  
“That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.

You want to put me on a bus?  Hey, I got one all picked out.

Where do I sign up?

OOO

Cartoons courtesy of American Progress.org

[#1291]

Norman Is Not Funny

“Why is it no one is telling anyone jokes anymore, has the country disintegrated into such a morass of doom and gloom, that no one seems to want to share a good amusing story or joke with each other?”

YokoRobert Redford has a movie called  “A River Runs Thru It.”  In the movie there is a scene where the female lead looks to Brad Pitt and says to him, “Norman is not funny.”  Which is an amusing scene, but in all reality, I suppose you would have to see the movie first to appreciate it.

Out of all the movies my wife has seen in her lifetime, this one scene, seems to resonate with her.  I have not a clue as to why, but she will look at me when I attempt to share something amusing with her, or tell her a joke.

And her reply, is always the same …. “Norman is not funny.”

Now my wife is Chinese and very funny, in her own way.  She will say stuff all the time, that I find amusing as all get out.  We were for example, traveling thru the Panhandle of Oklahoma on vacation, where coincidentally there thrives a very large population of Antelope.  Somewhere west of a little place called Guymon, Oklahoma, traveling down the highway at 65 mph an antelope came up out of the bar ditch and literally leaped over the hood of our automobile!

I was at the very least, shocked and amazed.

My wife looked at me and said:  “What is he doing out here running wild like that, he could hurt someone!”  Now at that juncture of time, it would have not only been appropriate but very politically correct to interject “Norman is not funny” into the conversation.  I on the other hand chose to reply with …. “Uh, he LIVES HERE that is why.”

Why?  Because I don’t like eating tuna fish sandwiches day after day when she finds me not so funny.

Which brings me to this.  Why is it no one is telling anyone jokes anymore, has the country disintegrated into such a morass of doom and gloom, that no one seems to want to share a good amusing story or joke with each other?

When times are good, folks tell jokes, when times are bad … well, you know.  The bible says that “laughter doth the heart good” which means you are a Happy Kamper when you are laughing and quite possibly a back-seat Baptist if you live in Oklahoma.

Here is something else to consider.  It takes a lot of muscles in your face to frown, it only takes a few to smile … I am basically lazy when it comes to this crossroads of my life.  I am going to smile, I am going to grin, she is going to wonder what it is that I have been up to and when I dutifully try to explain it to her … She will simply say … “That not funny.”

Just this past week, I came into the kitchen and she said, “Where have you been?” and I said, “McDonalds.”  She then said, “Why you go there, that is not good for you, nothing healthy.” and I said, “They have a new Value Meal, and I wanted to try it.”

My wife then says to me, “A new value meal.  What is it called?” and I said, “It is called the Obammer.  You order anything on the menu that you want and the guy behind you has to pay for it.”  

It is not easy being Norman, but someone has to do it.

See you at the water cooler.

OOO