Out To Lunch

Yesterday me and the Mrs. we drove to Oklahoma City and went out to eat.  Hate to do it this far away from payday, but we had not been there in quite sometime.  The drive into town is not so bad any more, we have a new interstate connection, six full lanes, each one homesteaded by a driving impaired lane change dummy. Continue reading

The Resurrection

The old preacher pulls up a chair on the pulpit and then invites all the youngsters in the congregation “that are in Big Church” to come up and sit with him. The little dinkers settle down at his feet, in a small circle around the preacher, and he says to them:

Does any one know what The Resurrection is?”  Continue reading

It’s All In The Cards ….

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WARNING:

My Predictions Will Blow You Away!

This is NOT those vague, generic readings that you’re used to seeing in magazines and newspapers… amazingly detailed predictions that will change your life!

Don’t believe me?

Today, for the very first time, I shall share with you, all of my secrets. Just send me $2,300.00, the name of your first born male child, a valid credit card number and three wrappers from a pack of Juicy Fruit gum.

Find out for yourself, it takes less than 60 seconds.

Much like a old dawg with his head out the window, big ears flopping in the breeze, I find myself rushing into the New Year.  Might add on a negative note, have received some disturbing emails here lately.  Same old stuff: 

You lie!
This is a Family Site you ____ !
I hate you!
Your parents were not married.

On the other hand, a more positive note.  Several times in the past few weeks, I have ventured out to the old mailbox, and found a letter for my wife.  She is raking in the dough, Clearing House Finalists make the cash, I am here to tell you.  Yesterday she got one that said she was going to receive $5,000 a week for the rest of her life!

So perhaps I should say something.  Most everything I write is factual and often true.  I do embellish from time to time, in order to clarify.  Family Site, now that is a real hoot, I mean jeeze, who would mate with someone like you? 

BY THE WAY … IT’S MY SITE. 

Maybe it is something in the drinking water?  It could be that some would want to have me committed for observation, here lately I feel that has been the case.  Mere words barely scratch the surface when it comes to describing the insanity of BoxCarOkie.com.  A single look is all one really needs to determine that he’s out of this world (post another picture Van!). But there are things even crazier to the man than imaginable once he sits down to the keyboard.

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At any given moment he can spout metaphysical nonsense, quantum theory, spiritual musings, or… anecdotes about how he used to rail lines of coke off of the back of his dog.

Is BCO a misunderstood savant?  Could be, but I kinda doubt it.

The victim of a tragic loss of inhibition thanks to head injuries sustained from his infamous 1991 train crash? Or is he simply yet another cautionary tale of the dangers of substance abuse? With the kind of ##@*!!*!@<>@# BCO talks, it’s probably all three and then some.

Leave a comment … Jump right in … the water over here in the backwaters of time, space and fantasy (a genre of imaginative fiction involving magic and adventure, esp. in a setting other than the real world.) are just fine.

Hope this clears it up some.

Have a nice weekend

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An Open Reply To An Internet Troll

The moderator at BNO asked me very politely to not trash up their site, and after considering his request, I figured it made sense.  This my site and if I want to “trash it up” replying to someone who is seemingly not all there, I feel that, if I want to do it is okay. Continue reading

Just Give Them Cash And Be Done With It.

TBR 2010 Day Three 006My wife took me shopping for a M&M’s NASCAR jacket.  This has been on my Bucket List for quite some time now, a U.P.S. brown racing jacket for an old coot to style in.

As we were leaving the first or second mall, Cup Cake looks down and she abruptly pulls me up (sort of like reigning in an old horse or a mule) and says, “Your shoe lace is untied.

So I look down, and low and behold it is, I dutifully drop to one knee and assume the position, I proceed to put a double loop in it, and fix the errant troublemaker so that I will no longer have this problem.

Having completed my temporary stop for repairs, I start to rise, and she gently places her hand on my shoulder, and pushes down firmly and I look up, “What the —— now?

She says, rather sternly as if she is talking to a small child, “Now do the other one.“ Which to a man is stoooooopid, why do you have to do the other one, if the other one is okay, and it was.

But doing some quick thinking I remember that I have been here before, and a “wise man never wakes his second sleeping baby just to see it smile.“ So I tie the other shoe, or rather, untie the other shoe, and then re-tie the other shoe. (You following all this?) 

While I am in this position, feeling the familiar pangs of insanity coursing thru my brain, I look up at her, and I say “Darling, will you marry me here, right now at the Mall!

And she giggles, at the same time, an elderly couple who are walking by and overhear my capricious statement and they stop.

The wife she smiles real big and kind of laughs and the husband offers up, “I am a preacher son, I can marry you right now on the spot!“ So I say to him, “For real? You are an honest to goodness preacher, for real?” and again he replies in the affirmative.

I quickly get up from my bent one knee position and say, “Thanks for the offer Padre, but that is where all my problems began to start with!

Four malls later, one trip to the Food Court for a round of give it to me quick and make it really greasy, we come home, sans jacket.

She however has found this stainless steel, pressure cooker thingy for the kitchen, or at least I think it is for the kitchen. All I know it is not my color and it will not fit on the dog, so it must be for the kitchen?

One last thing and then I will leave all of you alone.

I didn’t find the jacket, but I still got the girl, and that is all that really matters.  Instead of distracting yourself with thoughts of what or who would be better in your life, see if you can find a way to make the relationship you’re already in as good as it can be.

Happily married couples know that regardless of what happens in life, yesterday, last month, a couple of years ago or what might happen today, tomorrow, or next year — That Now — is the only place where happiness can actually be found and experienced.

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