The Home Show

imgres-22010 … Ah yes, as if it was only yesterday.   It slices, it dices, it is three kitchen tools in one, easy clean up!  You can make your own Pico De Gallo or fresh Salsa at home, no more trips to Taco Bell in the middle of the night, think of it!  Only $39.99, she bought two.

2012 now you can, with this device, roll your own rice rolls, you can have your own sushi rolls, all kinds of neat stuff, only $50.00!  To this day I have never dipped one chip or handled a roll … Vacuum cleaners, hip resizesrs, bird houses, roofing, exercisers, sewing machines for $12,000 and sleep beds for only $4,000, garden tractors, critter feeders, where can you find all of these things ….. at the Home Show.  (Don’t laugh … What the hell, beats walking old peeple laps at the Mall early in the morning)

Over the weekend, we attended the Home Show in Oklahoma City.  This is combined with the Gun Show and it is usually packed to the gills, so we went on the first day, in hopes of beating the rush.  As it turned out, this was a good move, although crowded, it was not as packed as in years before.


As I like to study people it was a target rich environment for me the entire day.  Most of the people we saw were grayed out baby-boomers, the youngsters have to work on Friday.  Old geezers, we can just do whatever it is that we want, so that was the underlying theme, old is in and young is out. One thing I happened to notice was most of the men are coloring their hair and the women are not.  That is a totally new wrinkle. 

The home show is sort of a microcosm of all the things in life that you want, but are unable to afford.  In our neck of the woods, the big sellers were storm shelters, above ground, below ground, steel fabricated, all concrete.  A profound testimony to the often violent weather world we live in here on the plaines.


Most of everything we observed, we had seen in shows of years before.  Not a whole lot of new entrants into the home show arena I am afraid.  One thing that was new, a bottle of water had jumped to $3 and I told the Channel Nine booth television celebrities about it, but I seriously doubt if they will do an expose’ on rippin off the elderly … Just aint gonna happen. imgres-1

Parking at these events is always a problem. 

Most of the vendors get there early in the morning, to set up and get ready.  Therefore all the prime parking space (except for the handicapped) is taken early.  The show itself doesn’t open up until after 11 A.M. so by the time we got there, most of the close in spaces were taken.  So I started orbiting around and soon came across a space between an SUV and a late model Corvette.

As I still know how to parallel park, it was easy for me to just slide into this space, and driving a small Chevy Truck (HHR) and still allow ample room in front and rear of my vehicle for the other space holders.  We then went to the show and walked around for some four hours and hit all five buildings.  Sometime in the late afternoon we decided to call it a day.

Walking up to the truck I noted the SUV in front of me was still there, but the Corvette had long since disappeared.  In its place was some soccer mom van and it was neatly tucked up right on top of my truck.  In other words, no room to back up at all, possibly some three to five inches max. and that was it.

Behind the soccer mom van was a good 3 to 3.5 feet of space to the next car.

This of course as Clint Eastwood would say … “Really Made My Day.”  This a sore spot with me, bad parkers, people who are so inconsiderate of other people, who block you in, or present you with exit problems.  Having spent some 2 hours waiting on someone to move a car at the State Fair one year, they have managed to carve out a special place in my heart over the years because of  their ignorance. (In the state fair incident, I finally called a cop and a wrecker and it was towed, the people never did show up)

Friday afternoon it took me the better part of fifteen minutes, jerking the wheel around, pulling up on top of the SUV and then backing up 6 to 8 inches, jerking the wheel backing up 6 to … well you get the picture, don’tcha?  I cursed the very ground that this person walked on, even implied at one time, that it was possible that she/he was spawned from unmarried hill folk of Missouri or something to that effect.

Finally after a considerable amount of trouble, and a much elevated blood pressure,  I managed to extract the truck from this nightmare of inconsideration and pulled in the front of the SUV.  It was there where I sat in the front seat and wrote the note …. Listen, learn how to park or stay home!  You really jacked me around today by parking right on top of me.  This is why it took me 15 minutes to get my truck out of the box you made for me and why you are changing your !@#$#! flat tire.  Next time leave some room.”   I put the note under the windshield wipers, took off the valve cover cap on her/his left rear tire, placed a small pebble in the cavity and loosely put the cap back on.  Then I walked away to the sweet sound of air escaping from the valve stem and we went to lunch.

So ended our trip to the Home Show … A little bit more exciting than it usually is, but then again, that is what it is like in Oklahoma City these days.  It is often not easy being a cranky old geezer, a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Next year I am staying home.


A special thanks to my favorite home builder for the complimentary tickets to attend.

Retrofit Post

Kind of funny, how something written years ago (2008) can still be considered appropriate and right on the money.  Doing a little house cleaning this morning and stumbled up on this.

I Cannot Drive My Car

I asked a girl to go traveling with me

See the country in an SUV

Pulled into the station the sign was obscene

The pump was hooked up to a cash machine

I cannot afford to drive my car

$50 won’t get me far

baby you can push my car,

and maybe I’ll help you

beep-beep it aint cheap yeah

I had a friend said his Honda was good

Because they have batteries under the hood

Owning a Prius is all very cool

But I got a gas hog that guzzles the fuel

I can’t afford to drive my car

$50 won’t get me far

don’t know how to push that car

or maybe I’ll buy me a mule

beep-beep it aint cheap yeah

beep-beep it aint cheap yeah

beep-beep it aint cheap yeah


Sunday Drive

Being a card carrying member of the baby-boom generation I can testify that I grew up with the automobile.  Several automobiles to be exact, my father used to buy a new car about every two and one-half years on average.

Most American’s my age are either car lovers or were in one the majority of their lives.

Often on Sunday’s my father would announce after breakfast that we were going for a drive.  Now the Sunday Drive as I remember it, never had a destination, it was all shoot from the hip, let’s try this out, we have never been there before, and we would head out.

With cheap motor fuel and some hastily assembled sack lunches, we are loaded up in the family truckster and headed out.  On some days, he even took the family dog with us, which were especially memorable rides, sharing the backseat with a little sister and a boxer.  Living in one of the greatest states in the United States for geographical wonders and things to see and do, California was our playground.

Some days the trip was to the oceanside and the beach, others were to the mountains and one Sunday in particular, we ended up in Nevada.  To this day, I cannot figure out how, but when we stopped for gas, Dad asked the guy just “where in the world am I?” and he came back to the car and Mom said, “Well Loren, where are we?” and he smiled and say, “Well hon, we seem to be in Nevada my dear.” And then the discussion started.

Today’s offering is not strictly about cars, don’t be fooled.

The video is about a relationship between a man and his car, but most importantly, it is about family.  It is a short segment about two sons, who went the extra mile to do something very special for their Father.  I think it is worth watching and I hope you find time to do this too.  It will tug at your heartstrings and in small way, make your day.  Give it a shot.

Dads car



Thanks to Chopper Scott in NB.

The Day After

Day after Christmas, time to reflect on what was what.  Exciting place for us, all the grandkids under foot and the family unit (such as it is) back in place for a short span of time.  With each year, the meaning of, and the feeling of the holidays change somewhat.  As one year comes to a close, a new year begins, and often, you cannot help but to be a little bit sad.

Sitting in my easy chair, I watch the parade of my life from the curb and clap as it rolls by.  I watch the Ford commercials on television and smile to myself.  Mike Rowe has a better idea.   These new Ford commercials they are running with the Dirty Jobs guy kind of crack me up.  Dirty Jobs on the Discover Channel profiles the unsung American laborers who make their living in the most unthinkable — yet vital — ways.  Our brave host and apprentice Mike Rowe (currently looking for dead fossils in Utah when he is not pimping off half-tons on TV at the Mall) leads us through this process.  On any given day, you will find Mike on the Ford Commercials on just about every television channel you might find.

Doing his level best to pointing out sublime cool neat accoutrements such as cigarette ashtrays and Big Gulper cup holders.

I often get a kick out of these commercials, glued, no riveted to the screen, I watch as Mike goes to the mall and talks about the new Ford automobiles and trucks (Funny but I never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine going to the mall to find a good deal on a truck … what was I thinking?).  With grace and seemingly no work at all, he hawks their apparent advantages to the cost-conscious car buying public.  Tonight he was pushing a Ford pickup on this unsuspecting American pickup buyer and after the spleel, the guy looks at Mike and says …. “Wow!  Where do I get one of these?”

Yes, I know.  Incredible.

(Uh try Big Lots Bucko, they might have one or two models on sale that were left over from Christmas)

Noticing the lights are coming on for the holidays, but it is still daylight, I guess I will have to reset the timer.  After the 21st of the month (first day of winter) the days naturally start to get even longer, such is the case here now.  It cannot be all that far off now, where American Idol will once again be a staple of our viewing fare and our days are spent in the shop sharpening the lawnmower blades in anticipation of spring.

My mind can now reflect on the Christmas that was and work on my new list for next year or other important things.

But there is good news, having stopped the ridiculous snow machine on my webpage and the days being longer, leaves me more time to find and point out the ludicrous things that happen on a daily basis, this process we call … Life.  Things like spending $400 on a battery powered dump truck, extra batteries, a battery charger, wrapping it all up and presenting it to a four year old.

Only to watch him spend the rest of the entire day playing with the box that it came in.

Stuff like that.

2011 has been an eclectic mix of this and that, and like most everyone else, I am not sad to see it leave.  I am in fact, looking ahead with great anticipation to 2012 which is incidentally the last year on the Mayan Calendar.  I am hearing a lot of grousing about “it being finally over” so I feel that I am not alone in my outlook for a New Year.  A fresh beginning, I have always been a sucker for something new.

That is today’s post … a dirty job … but someone has to do it.

yuk-yuk … (Okie Humor)


Hot Iron

Ah spring in Oklahoma, the Walmart tree bags are in full bloom, the fence rows are full of plastic and there is a pronounced crispness in every breath I take.

New life abounds everywhere I look and love is in the air.

Just this week I got a desperate plea from a Nigerian woman who tells me that she has me in her every thought, and that she is related to the Royal Nigerian Family who desperately need me to finance her trip to the United States.  It is so nice to be needed.  Don’t you think it is nice to have a dream?

Everyone has a dream.  A tomorrow.  A someday.

So in order to promote these principles lucky for us, we have media experts who create for us our world, they are the Dream Catchers of our society.  They outline for us in vivid detail, organize our dreams, prioritize our needs and help us to make plans. They, for lack of a better descriptive, color our world to speak

And unfortunately, every now and then, they go outside the lines, and they screw up.

If you want to work with Chrysler, don’t bad-mouth its hometown of Detroit.  Chrysler’s social-media agency, New Media Strategies, learned the lesson the hard way after a employee used Chrysler’s Twitter feed, apparently by mistake, to express the thought that it was “ironic that Detroit is known as the Motor city, yet no one here knows how to f—ing drive.”

The employee was summarily fired and Chrysler promptly announced that it wouldn’t  renew with New Media Strategies saying that the tweet wrongly disparaged “Detroit and its hardworking people.’  The misstep was particularly unwelcome since Chrysler has been hailing the success of a new advertising tagline it introduced in a Super Bowl ad in February “Imported from Detroit.”

Things in general, are not all that great in Detroit.  Detroit recently has experienced a population plunge.  Detroit’s population shrank by 25% in the past ten years to its lowest level in a century, as growing numbers of blacks joined their white brothers in fleeing the troubled city.

The U.S. Census Bureau fixed the city’s population at 713,777, making it smaller than Indianapolis.  The last time Detroit’s population was so low as in 1910, when the city’s mainstay automotive industry was just setting up shop.  Detroit has the highest percentage of Muslim’s (and illegal Mexicans) in the country now, most of its infrastructure is crumbling, business has left and is in advanced stages of general decay.  Another great city of the American culture slowly sinks into the horizon and out of sight.

Most had figured the population would be closer to 800,000 and the mayor has asked the Census Bureau to recheck its head count.  Of course, if he could just find another 40,000 willing souls to agree that they live in this hole, that would qualify his city for increased state and federal aid.

Which they apparently need desperately now.

All this new Hot Iron imported out of Detroit, buckin and snortin’, high-horse macho machines, ready to hit the highway.  Texas I understand has just raised its speed limits to 85 miles miles per hour in some sections of their state … all of it there for the taking … Just takes a $4 gallon of gasoline to make it all happen ….  Here I sit, in my ten year old hoopie, stuck on the on ramp.

Oh well, it could be worse, I could be for instance, find myself being called to prayer seven times a day and standing on the sidewalk in Detroit.

Have a great weekend, if that is still possible?