Old School …

imagesDo you remember when the Milkman delivered milk to your front door, and you could sneak over to his truck and get a handful of chipped ice.

How about the Ice Cream man, he actually sold Ice Cream and not dope, like they do today. Continue reading

Just the facts M’mam, just the facts.

Just the facts M’mam, just the facts. Myrtle Beach, Florida, police are searching for a man who borrowed a vehicle to buy crack cocaine then stole the car, according to a police report. A woman told police she met the suspect in the parking lot of the Admiral Inn last week. After a 20-minute conversation, the victim allowed the suspect to take her 2008 Kia Spectra to buy crack cocaine, the report states.

The suspect told the victim he would give her some cocaine in exchange for letting him borrow the vehicle, the report states. The suspect told the victims he would return the car the following night but didn’t. The victim told police that the suspect was from North Carolina and was accompanied by two prostitutes when he took the vehicle. Man, I read the word “suspect” so many times in that piece, I thought it was written by a cop!

Two drunks were sitting on the curb and they were arguing. One looking up said, “I tell ya, that is the moon up there.” And the other one said, “Naw, you are wrong, that is the sun.” So they both agreed, “We will ask the next guy who comes by.”

A short while passes and a crack head walks up and the first drunk says to him, “Hey Buddy? Is that the sun or the moon up there?” The little crack head takes a big pull on his pipe, looks up at the sky and then says ……… “Uh, I dunno? I don’t even live around here man.”

Women in a northern Malaysian city ruled by conservative Islamists are being urged by the city’s authorities to forsake bright lipstick and noisy high-heels “to preserve their dignity and avoid rape”.  Pamphlets have been distributed recommending that Muslim women shun heavy makeup and loud shoes.

In Oklahoma women have another system, they don’t dress that way and they hang out at Buffet’s instead of bars. Pretty safe bet no one is gonna find them there. And to further protect, Oklahoma has a law for it. It is illegal in the state of Oklahoma for a person to have sex with a buffalo. Yeah, I know, you think I am putting you on.

Law Summary It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.

37-537.2. Briefly it sez …. No owner, operator, partner, manager, or person having supervisory control of any establishment licensed to sell or serve intoxicating beverages shall permit any of the following on or about any commercial premises where intoxicating beverages are dispensed or consumed:

1. The performance by any person of acts, or simulated acts, of sexual intercourse, or any sexual acts which are otherwise prohibited by law; Any person to perform acts of, or acts which simulate, sexual acts which are prohibited by law, or permit any person to use artificial devices or inanimate objects to depict any prohibited activities or permit the showing of films, still pictures, electronic reproductions or other visual reproductions depicting any of the prohibited activities described in this paragraph.

Kinda nice to know you are being protected, isn’t it?  Now you know why they filmed “Dancing With Wolves” in South Dakota.

Okay I tried it. Alternative Transportation. I took a city bus downtown the other day to the VA and it is nine miles, and it only took 47 minutes and one dollar. There must be a better way. I guess I could have gone faster, but the bus operator told me it was “illegal” to leave the bus while it was still moving.

You are what you eat. At the Nevada State Fair in 2004, volunteers attempted to set a record for the world’s largest burrito. Ingredients consisted of 8,200 tortillas, 2,000 lbs of refried beans, and 1,000 pounds each of sour cream, cheese, and salsa.

The finished product was a mile and one-half long, and totaled about 8,433,200 calories. That would be enough calories to feed the average person for about eleven years. It also produced enough gas to run the entire city of Reno, Nevada for approximately 28 days.

A new report in Arizona has shed some interesting light on the existence of UFOs. According to KNXV of Phoenix, firefighters have been trained to handle UFO sightings and landings. The guidelines are listed in the Fire Officer’s Guide to Disaster Control. The book has an entire chapter on the subject called “Enemy Attack and UFO Potential” and lists possible scenarios for UFO encounters and even how to treat injured aliens.

And you thought today was going to be a boring day?

Beam me up Scottie, no intelligent life here.



Obamma Spamma

I got this Email yesterday that states, “matter of facilely” that Obammer is the Anti-Christ! I will spare you all the gory details, but here is a quote from it:

According to The Book of Revelation the anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal….the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything .”

Maybe it is me, having read the Bible on occasion, I don’t remember any mention of “Muslim” (descent) in there at all … The word Islam cannot be found in the bible and certainly not the word “Anti Christ.”  I don’t think I have seen anything in the book that is in all CAP’S either.

Someone needs to help me out on this one, I must be reading the wrong bible.

Kind of similar to “locking the barn door after the horse has got out.” This guy is already here; he’s in office right now, all of it except that “Muslim” part that is. You figure it out. We will give your three guesses and the first two, don’t even count. If you are a regular reader of this page, then you know how I feel. If you are not, then most likely, as you have astutely gathered I am not a big Obammer fan, but I don’t believe he is getting a fair shake on this one at all.

Now I did some research on it and this is what I found.

Illinoisans (that is one of them there fancy words for people who live outside of Chicago) were less likely to interpret the Bible literally. While 33 percent of all respondents said the Scriptures were the “word of God, literally true word for word,” only 27 percent of those in Illinois agreed.

Illinoisans (those folks who live outside of Chicago) were also more likely to agree that “there is more than one true way to interpret the teachings of my religion” and that “many religions can lead to eternal life.” And while Illinoisans (people who moved there from Dearborn Michigan, after GM shut down) pray as frequently as the rest of the country, they were less likely to report receiving answers to those prayers.

Now that has to be “true” ‘cause I read it on the Internet.

Meanwhile back at the Eastern Ponderosa …. The Senate was expected to approve possibly sometime this week, the biggest government program yet to tackle a deep housing market slump feared to be dragging the economy into recession. The legislation would create a $300 billion fund to help up to 400,000 troubled homeowners refinance costly, exotic mortgages into more affordable, government-backed loans.

It easily cleared a Senate test vote by an 83-9 vote on Tuesday. It was rumored that even Hillary was there for this one, but I am not sure.

“The most significant concern that we have with the bill is that it would provide for $4 billion to states to purchase already foreclosed homes,” Bush administration spokeswoman Dana Perino told reporters. “And our concern is that that just helps the banks, that it doesn’t help the consumers.”

So if you are some poor slob in Omaha, up to your rear in debt with a traditional mortgage and just trying to put some groceries on the table, this isn’t going to help you at all.

It is another perk for the rich. Biz as usual.