Tribute to the new king

Here lately I am seeing a solid stream of Oklahoma politicians, political wanna-be’s and other social miscreants making a bee line to Washington to pay homage or tribute to our newly elected President.   As my Daddy used to say, “they are not fooling anyone, they are all lining up at the trough.”

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letter to the editorA great many people inquired why I didn’t post anything yesterday and …. well …. okay, THREE people wanted to know why I did not post yesterday.  The answer is simple, I went to a pre-interview appointment on the Soft Porn Fantasy-camp, and it appears, I might have a shot at an enrollment in September.  (I had a doctor’s appointment and a pressing Co-Pay, that is the reality of it)

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Do Over

Let’s pretend for a second here, that we could be something, anything, we want to be.  That we could radically change our present circumstance to anything we want it to be, to be able to change our present status in life to something totally new and different.

To be the NEW you that YOU want to be.

If given the chance, a vast majority of us, would do it in a heartbeat.  This might be why a large segment of the population in this country relate so well to Hollywood and movie personalities.  It gives us a little chance to live vicariously thru other people (actors and characters) for a short while and escape the rigors that modern day life has to offer.

Let’s face it, most of us live lives of quiet desperation.

We all secretly wish to be someone else, to be something else, we are as the younger generation puts it a bunch of  …. “Posers.”  We make a mental note each day of things we want to improve, things that we want to change, and yes, people we admire and want to be.  We are so bad at this, that an entire industry was formed around the very idea of the quick note.

During my career on the railroad we had a select group of people that followed us everywhere we went.  They were armed with cameras and radio scanners, they knew just about every aspect of our working lives.  They didn’t do it, they just thought they knew everything about it, they for lack of a better word, studied every aspect of our daily duties, our career.

They were also quick to tell you that they were “rail buffs.”  We on the other hand, called them “Foamers,” because each time they saw a train, they kind of went all glassy eyed and freaked out.  The sight of GP35 or a SD40 took them over like a rabid dog, thus, the term “Foamers.”

Rail Buff At Work

This is just one example of a poser … someone trying to be something else, a person living thru you.

In the bus community (people who own and restore old buses) have a term for it, those folks who dream of owning a bus, who want a bus, they are called “wanna-be’s” and those folks new to the lifestyle are called “newbies.”  They even have folks residing with them that do not own a bus, but still consider themselves bus people, fact is, I don’t know what to call someone like that.  Hopeless Dreamer comes readily to mind.

One very popular show on television is Extreme Home Makeover.  A very popular television series featuring a new abode, with brand new stuff, and of course, higher taxes. Who amongst us hasn’t secretly pined for a shot at that.  Those of us who sit around during the slow part of the day and dream of castles in the sky, a new place to hang our hat. (Hey what the ____ it beats working right?)

Then there is the movie thing that we seem to be obsessed with.

A movie that quickly comes to mind is Somewhere In Time.  The ability to go back in time, to a much happier period, perhaps one less stressful, where you do not have to dress for success.  That special niche in time where you do not have to kiss a part of the boss, the part he sits on most of the day, in order to get by.

Face it, most of us don’t need any of this. We don’t really need another chance to be something that we are not, because that would waste the unique individuals that most of already are.   What we need is a do over.  Perhaps one more shot at the now dead American Dream.

Having ample time to stop and consider my present station in life, I have come to one solid conclusion about all this.  I don’t favor Robert Redford, another Dustin Hoffman I am not, there is only so much room for industrial hero’s like Donald Trump, Warren Buffet  (the ultimate train buff) or Lee Iaccoca.  In other words … Don’t waste a makeover on me, that is a total waste of time, I am what I am, pretty much locked into that.

No need for a Make Over here … What I really need is … A Do-Over … one more swing at all this, and I promise Lord, this time I won’t screw it up.


Gimme – Gimme

Not long ago I was watching the movie “Wall Street” starring Michael Douglas. This is where he plays the unscrupulous Wall Street financier Buddy Grekko (sp) I believe his name was, a Donald Trump Wall-Street-Wanna-be of the first order. In the movie he states that “GREED is good, and that it is not all that necessarily a bad thing.” So it got me to thinking, “If GREED is good, then why are we in such dire straights right now because of it.”

So today’s offering in literary junk food will be on the subject of GREED.

As I am often accused of picking on some of these pikers around here, and that I never seem to be able to get along with anyone, we shall talk about my favorite thing in life … GREED. Being fully aware that I am basically talking with honest people, who know the definition of true GREED (wanting more than you can honestly afford). By the way, you don’t have to be dishonest to be GREEDY, I know people who are in church every Sunday and they are just as GREEDY as the next old boy.

Now if you go through your wife’s pocket book, or take gifts from people that you know you shouldn’t accept, you could be GREEDY. GREED can be the most potent aphrodisiac know to anyone running for public office. GREED. Where GREED really plays a big hand is in politics. The more money someone raises to run for office the bigger his image and his ego gets, once again, a power trip. Fueled by GREED. Politicians are known for their GREED and at times, so are their respective parties that they belong to.

GREED can also be a good substitute for Viagra, one of the better know stimulants in the western world is GREED.

Today I received a notice of “change in terms” for my credit card. If I go over my limit, 30%, if I get a cash advance and overdraw, 30%, if I am late, 30% … GREED. Pure and simple, why do they do this to a up-to-date good customer … GREED.

And of course they can do this with impunity, because they are BANKERS and the GOVERNMENT is powerless to do anything about it.

Walking into an Indian Casino or playing Bingo once per week, watching the ponies run and wagering sums on them at the local track can also lead to GREED. This morning the price of gasoline was $2.31 per gallon, seven hours later, for no apparent reason, it is $2.45 per gallon … GREED.

A Hong Kong Jeweler named Lam Sai-Wing built a bathroom in which almost everything is made of 24 karat gold: the toilet, the floor tiles, the mirror frames — even a a chandelier. The only thing that’s not all-gold is the ceiling, which is studded with 6,200 diamonds, pearls, rubies, sapphires, and emeralds. Cost to build this monster … $3.5 million for this high tech outrageous poop-shooter.

GREED also comes into play in sports, the late Vince Lombardi said that “winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.” Americans will do anything to win a golf tournament, a tennis match or a Little League Baseball game. Now days they even have competitions to see who can land the biggest fish. Who is it that pays upwards of $200 for a pair of Tennis Shoes, while the rest of the world goes barefooted? GREED. I have more than 1,000 DVD’s movies in my collection … GREED.

Enron was a prime example of GREED. It’s apparent reluctance to pay taxes to the IRS for a period of several years, this is another example of GREED. So what if the city loses money … GREED. Tax Time is especially a fruitful time for GREED lovers and seems to bring out the worst in us. We sit back and try to figure out new angles in order to pay the least amount of taxes owed … GREED.

GREED always rears its ugly head when you try to figure out how to cheat on your taxes without getting caught.

Even when it comes down to romance, we are GREEDY. You say things to another person that sound like the real thing, but you really don’t mean it. Fortunately you cannot go to jail for this one, unless of course, you try to make your loved one tax deductible.

Some folks are GREEDY about clothes, homes, automobiles. Once GREED strikes it is hard to shake off. I have a touch of it myself, probably a tad, but no more or less than your average American.

Now in closing I want you to take into consideration one thought and then we will be done. Here is your scary thought for the day.

Back in 1990, the Government (IRS) seized the Mustang Ranch Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it.

They failed and it closed.

Now we are trusting the economy of our country to a pack of greedy-dumb-asses who couldn’t make money running a whore house and selling booze? And we are lending them the lifeblood of our U.S. Treasury without as much as collateral?

What is wrong with this picture?

I envy people who have more than I do, but when people ask how GREEDY I am, I always tell them to speak to my lawyer. *


*As promised yesterday

  • The five entertainers who had airports name after them: Bob Hope, John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, John Lennon and Will Rogers.
  • Six stars who took Karate lessons from Chuck Norris: Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley, Steve McQueen, Michael Landon, Marie Osmond and Donny Osmond.
  • Why George Dubya Bush doesn’t wear a name tag at his Class Reunions. Who cares?

“The cartoon was published by the Center for American Progress” (online)