She kissed me in the cash and prizes (your junk, privates, twigs and berries) and then she took me to the ground. Mmmmmm nice dream, please stay, don’t go.
Pills are kicking in, the pain is being masked by the drugs, and slowly going away. Which is really a good thing, I should stop talking to people wearing Bluetooth headsets by the end of the week. They in turn should stop looking at me like a dowdy old fool.
The meaning of life comes through understanding your own nature and learning to accept all aspects of yourself. The other day I was asked: “Where do you get it? How is it that you can come up with this stuff every day?” Giving it some thought, all I could come up with was what Plato had to say on it. “The quiet mind is our best tool for introspection. A life unexamined is not a meaningful life.”
|When was the last time you zoned out at the counter and just had what your Mama used to call a Happy Dream … Much, much too long I would venture. Today for your reading pleasure, Cheaper Than A Mistress, Creative Endeavors, the home of Boxcarokie.com|
Suddenly I find myself craving a fresh bowl of gravy and a hairball, so I go over to the local beanery. The local beanery is American slang.
In some circles it is also known as a Choke & Puke, but we are not about being gross this day, so we will call it a beanery.
Hunger my driving concern forced me out of the shop, those pesky slack adjusters can wait, it is time for food and another adventure into the public arena. I need nourishment, someone radar me something to eat and make it fast!
Sliding into a booth at Denny’s the world seems circumspect almost peaceful and serene. And then suddenly, as if by magic, he finds himself lost in a world of his own. In his mind’s eye he envisions himself walking around the bus meet parking lot, where he stumbles across Mona.
She was interesting, her old 4104 looked tired and run down. She said that she had just drove straight thru from the World Famous Darrel Waltrip Truck-stop in Franklin, Kentucky, and only used five quarts of oil.
The bus looked pretty tired, but Mona, now she was a little different.
She had the mystery of Garbo or Monroe, the allure of Lauren Bacall, the torso of Bridgett Bardo (which is really dating this guy, he should be using Jay Lo or Britney Speers someone like that). Feeling lucky he invites her back to his 89 Prevo, with the polished slack adjusters and freshly painted underbody. Opening the door he invited her in and she looked at him and smiled. “I like what you have done with the floors.”
The perfect entrance to a man’s heart. Sweat Equity and Power Tools.
A very intelligent smart girl.
He looked at her, lost in his passion, with awe and ecstasy (It has been a long time, no?). “He pulled her mouth to his and kissed her so hard she moaned.” His mind is now racing, “she is so beautiful and she already knows how to dump! I must be in heaven he thought to himself.”
This is much, much better.
A grim smile played across his lips (almost a sneer) then they made passionate love on the back bedroom regular sized bed with the convenient storage underneath (yeah I am sure, in your dreams lover boy). Her trim, brown skinned body was bare, save for a wet sweat filled bikini (89 Prevo’s apparently are not all that cool this time of the year).
He ran his hand along her back to the string that fastened her bikini top. Tan lines traced her beautiful torso all the way to her triangle of her — And then the plate hit the counter with a resounding ring!
“You the Grand Slam, the side of ham and the hash browns?”
Back to reality.
Wake up its early, eat your eggs they’re ready, you have things to do. Well, that is the way it goes. One of these days, I hope it is soon, I am gonna get me a life. The wife said I cannot keep living vicariously thru these lousy bus-boards.*
*Any resemblance to anyone owning, driving, or selling a 4104 or full-timing or traveling in a 89 Prevo is purely co-incidental and should not be taken as factual. No reprints of this article are allowed unless you have written permission from the NFL or America Has Got Talent. Please no phone calls, all of our off-shore operators are busy.
Wow … Half of the month is gone and I flat did not notice, how about you?
You ever lie in your bed, that special early time in the morning, where you are not exactly asleep, but you still have your eyes closed? I have just had another nice dream, one of those sweet dreams, where you just don’t want to open your eyes, and lose the image in your brain that has brought you release from the trials of life.
Some men dream of crossing oceans
Some men dream one day to fly
Spend their whole lives out there floating
On the water and the skies.
Some men dream of building fortunes
Some men dream of having fame
Nothing else is more important
Than making money and a name.
Another session of being poked, prodded and nudged. Walking into the Dr. Office I fill out the paper work and I assumed the position in the comfortable chair, put my head back on the wall and once again drift off …
My Daddy used to chuckle and he would look down at me and say “Wish in one-hand kid, and spit in the other. See which one fills up first.” But today is Monday and I always try to be up-beat and positive on Monday’s. (Uh huh sure) “In the spirit of Judy Garland we could all collectively wish upon a star and try and change our destinies. When you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are, that kind of deal. “
I like this part: When you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are. Looking back, I remember as a small lad my father told me a fable such as that one night when I was but a small tyke, I still remember lying there in wonder and bewilderment.
It went something like this … He said …. YOUR mother said I was to come in here and tell you a fable or a bedtime story.
So pay attention.
Once upon a time, a Prince who asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?”
The Princess said, “NO!”
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged, big breasted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and nailed cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate Spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up. The End
Then my father went into the kitchen for another beer and I was told to go to sleep. To this day I have to admit, “I just love a good fairytale” how about you?
Comments are on … Give it a shot.
Does history repeat itself: Guns … Guns … Guns. How quickly we forget. It is not always guns … guns are not the problem. Andrew Kehoe blew up a school bus in Beth Township, Michigan. Kehoe also killed his wife and firebombed his own farm, all of this happening just as the charges he had placed under a local school went off.
Which ended up killing 37 elementary school children and two teachers. Then he drove to the school, in a car loaded up with shrapnel and detonated that, killing three adults, a schoolboy and himself.
All of this happened in 1922.
Three days later, Charles Lindbergh landed in Paris and completed his trans-Atlantic flight, the nation and the world quickly forgot about the worst diabolical act of home grown terrorism and worst massacres in U.S. History.
Barn Burner: Yesterday’s post, Stumped In Oklahoma went over 1,700 views in one day period, that is kind of amazing. You keep on chopping, day after day, and the chips keep flying, and then every now and then, you hit one out of the park. Who would have thunk thet?
“Handpicked highlights brought to you from the wordpress editors” … Our friends over at Fresh Pressed have put up a real head-banger, 3,700 words on a Gay porn star who has committed suicide and the possible reasons for this. Uh huh … sure. Fully believing that people will believe the truth when they hear it, here is the bottom line. People who commit suicide are selfish, and they are only thinking of themselves, not the people they left behind to mourn.
Gasoline The New Gold Standard: The price of gasoline has increased .50 cents this month, today is the 36th day it has increased in price, and I fully expect it to continue to spiral out of sight (Who is going to stop the carnage?). At the current rate, if it is to continue at this accelerated pace, a gallon of gas should be somewhere around $8.40 a gallon by Christmas.
Sitting on the dock of the bay: I keep thinking about these two old boys, sitting on a boat dock in Alabama, and hurtling thru space is a chunk of rock, big as a bus, moving at 33,000 miles per hour. What do you think the expression is going to be on their face when that monster rock plows into the pond they are fishing in? I am sorry …. but it just makes me smile. Here is something else I found amusing this week.
Sweet Dreams: You ever lie in your bed, that special early time in the morning, where you are not exactly asleep, but you still have your eyes closed? I have just had another nice dream, one of those sweet dreams, where you just don’t want to open your eyes, and lose the image in your brain that has brought you release from the trials of life.
In my younger days, my mom would call them Happy Dreams, and we will leave it that. Anyway, she was there, Penny from the Big Bang Theory and she shared some time with me last night and I just don’t want to get up, I don’t want to open my eyes.
Which is a lot, lot better than those other dreams.
Y’know, the one’s where you are naked and walking backwards in the dark, and you brush up against a warm buttered doorknob, don’tcha just hate those kind of dreams?
Have a great weekend. We are headed into round three of winter weather and most likely will be shut in, napping our day away and of course ….. dreaming. (heh-heh)
OOOCartoon courtesy of American Progress Online
Most read this week on Creative Endeavors:
|Home page / Archives|
|Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)|
|Wow … Wow … Oh Wow!|
|Take Your Pick|
|Wood Ice Chest|
|Truck Month – Stumped In Oklahoma|
|House Battery Workover|
|50 Plates For My Brother (audio)|
You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass-by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think about this before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.
YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS …
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: “I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.”
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to ‘Think Outside Of The Box.’ … HOWEVER … There is quite possibly ONE MORE answer to this dilemma.
The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery because the Nations new health care won’t pay for her hospital visit anyway, have sex with the ultimate partner of my dreams on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.*
Don’tcha just love happy endings? One more day and it is the weekend!
I can hardly wait.
Back in ’87 or ’88, I remember going to the State Fair, and someone absconded with my automobile, now that, was somewhat traumatic. We walked up to this empty space in the middle of this huge parking lot, and the wife sez …. “Where’s the car?” and I point to the empty hole (that at one time had contained my automobile that I just owed four more payments on) and I said … “Right there.”
Then she says … “There isn’t anything there Don.” That was one of those …. My barn having burned down I can clearly now see the moon kind of life moments … I guess you had to be there to understand.
So many questions in today’s world, and not enough time.
Hopefully, this will be a letter perfect day for me, which I have to be totally candid about, are far and few between. Things seldom work out the way you have them planned. I had always thought upon my retirement that I would buy a motorhome and go to California, live on a river in the gold bearing areas of the state, and during the daylight and summer hours, dredge the bottom of some river or creek bed for gold.
The San Joaquin, Tuolumne Rivers would work, in the foothills of the Sierra’s. In the cool of the afternoon, we might find me sitting around thinking about profitable gold dredging techniques and untold riches stored in a Once A Day Vitamin jar.
No cell phone, pager, Email, just me an the miss’es, that old dog, a big fuel sucking Motorhome with “Driving Miss Lazy” lettered on the back and lots of chrome. Every testosterone loving sons’ American Dream.
It just naturally appealed to me, the adventure factor being there, the life and the time available to do what it is that you wanted to do. Thoughts of the Golden State of California, exciting, interesting things to do, and where to do it. Unfortunately, things did not work out, and it is just a careless fantasy now, but it was at one time, a surefire-bonafied for real dream.
Which in reality is a real bummer, because once you lose your dreams, well, there just isn’t much left.