Digital Footprint … Let’s Roll.

pickup truck

I am on a roll as my friend Clifford likes to put it.  Why not? 

The-Old-Truck made it all the way to the gas station today, and it was just under $65 to fill it up!  I am on a roll.  Called DISH Network and after patiently punching several hundred numbers, got connected with a nice lady who …. believe it or not …. actually spoke English.

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El Reno Lite

Yesterday was a splendid sort of day, temp’s were forgiving and it was a nice day to get outside.  I had to do the wheel thing (Friday post) with my truck and there close by is a small park, so I kind of gravitated over there, to sit for awhile and soak it all in.  The only pressing concern for the entire day was the wheel installation and three letters with windows on them (bills) to stuff in the box at the post office.

It’s a tough job … but someone has to do it.

One of those rare Oklahoma days where you do not have to concern yourself with the ugliness of the political climate in our country.  That special time of the day, when you just know that the telephone isn’t going to ring, why people who send you all these stupid insipid emails are not going to bother you.  Folks who when you return the courtesy of a reply, you never hear from them again.

Stuff like that.

I would almost swear I heard a Robin singing, the first one of spring, but I am not sure, my hearing having disappeared a long, long time ago, to rattling freight trains and screeching tight curves and steel on steel.  Age will do that, take a little from you a little bit at a time.

Several small children there, a couple of girls and a few boys.  The girls are such a treasure, so sweet, so kind, quiet, soft giggles and nice laughs.  The boys on the other hand, are loud and raucous, they are suspended almost as if they are Apes swinging from some make believe jungle canopy, diving from the top of anything they can find and they are competing with each other to see who can garner the most injuries or stop just short of killing themselves.

As I watched them intently and studied their every move I heard the words to a quote I had heard a long time, resonate inside my head.  I think it was Margaret Mead that said:  “It is cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age.”  More and more each day that I live, these words seem to carry even more meaning to me.

I thought of my Dad, now long gone, who said to me one day in frustration, “Son, these are the best days of your life, only you don’t know it.  Try and get your head out of your ____ and enjoy some of it, before it is gone.”  And sadly, how those words were for the most part, wasted on me.

First thing you know, as if it has snuck up on you un-noticed, you find yourself down the road a piece, lost as a goose.  You reach that point where the American Dream starts to unravel a little, and the door gets kicked in, and you get a glimpse of what is inside.

Marriage, family, bills, obligations and look out, you are over thirty-five and reaching for the sky.

Mid life catches you chasing the ball, reaching for that impossible goal of to “just get a little bit ahead” but it never seems within reach.  Turning and burning, to impress all those folks you think seem to matter, when in reality, they aren’t even thinking about you at all.

Then on to what the call “The Golden Years” that time when all the low hanging fruit on the limb has been picked, and everything that is left, is going to take some energy to reach.  That time of life … When at best you will need a ladder to reach what is left on the tree, but you are too tired to walk to the shed to fetch it.

Yesterday, now long gone, was one of those special times in life, when you can finally afford to find time to sit back on a park bench and think about the all “good times” which were always a lot better as you remembered them and not all that tough to endure.

But we all know, it isn’t like that at all.

Super Bowl commercials are popular this week, so here is my pick for the best commercial of the Super Bowl 2013 … It really moved my spirit and I hope it does for you.

Paul Harvey and Dodge.

Thank’s so much for dropping by today, leave us a comment and let us know what YOU are thinking about.


Tailgates And Malware Monday

Keep it up chumps.  Thanks to Ed, we now know for sure that running with the tailgate down does not lead to better fuel mileage.  This is what is known in some circles as a “modern myth.”  Having made the statement, Ed backed it up with a quote from Myth Busters.  Here is another one, always attributed to or linked to a popular writer, Emra Bombeck.  The grass always grows greener over the septic tank.”

Not exactly, here is a picture of my septic tank.

You here or are you headed to get it checked.  Today is that magical day when all the little geeks of the world, show everyone how smart they are, by shutting everyone down.  At 11 a.m. the internet and your machine, all of it could shut down for a considerable amount of people who are unfortunate enough to have a Malware problem.  We checked our machines and they are registered “green” so that basically means we are okay (Open the POD doors Hal … nothing can go wrong … Open the POD doors Hal … Nothing can go wrong) and will be here to fight another day.

Hope you make it thru unscathed.

Attention WalMart shoppers.  A Shreveport, La official has introduced a bill to ban the wearing of pajama’s in public.  Parish Commissioner says he recently saw youths wearing pajama bottoms at a local WalMart and that line must be drawn somewhere.  Today it’s pajamas, tomorrow its underwear” he said, “where does it stop?”  Evidently he has not been to the mall and seen Jr. in his Snoop-Dawg underwear showing the entire world his personality.  Yeah, I know, “that was a nasty crack.”  (What can I say?)

Aw shucks, its just normal people just trying to stay cool in this heat.

What cracks me up is this:  “Today the temperature at the airport was 109*” ….. well of course it was you Nimrod, there are 47 acres of concrete and runways at the airport, what did you expect it to be?

Caveat emptor (Buyer Beware) 10 people purchased sealed iPad2’s at a Canadian store and found that the boxes contained only rectangular slabs of clay.  Thieves had made the switch.  Meanwhile in Silicone Valley Kalifornia, Apple has trashed ideas for the kids iPad until they can come up with a suitable name.

The proposed name, ITouch Kids, was found to be unsuitable.

Running Amuck.  The family of a man who died with a faucet running in his bathroom has been hit with a massive water bill.  The man who died of natural causes, laid in his house for some three weeks with the faucet running before his body was found.  The town in which he lived in, is refusing to waive the resulting water bill of $600.  Once again, good government at work for you the citizen.

Keep the change.  Passengers left behind a total of $409,085.56 in change when they passed thru U.S. Customs and airport security checks for the year.  The unclaimed money goes into the coffers of the Transportation Security Administration, that is, until some congressman finds out about it, and then we know what will happen at that time, don’t we?  You can kiss that money goodbye.

If the elections were held today, 46% of voters say they’d back President Obama.  While 45% say they’d vote for Mitt Romney.  The other 9% said …. “Si, we no understand the question senor’.”

One thing I have learned in all of this personally … Hope is easier to embrace than reality.

Every now and then we are all reminded of the power of words, even small innocuous words.  Here for you today are eight words with two meanings.

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n..  Female … Any part under a car’s hood.  Male … The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.  Female … Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.  Male … Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .  Female … The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.  Male … Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys..

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.  Female … A desire to get married and raise a family.  Male … Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.  Female … A good movie, concert, play or book.  Male …. Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.  Female … An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.  Male …. A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.  Female … The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.  Male … Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.  Female  … A device for changing from one TV channel to another.  Male … A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

Once again, you stay a little bit ahead of the curve, compliments of Mr. Language Person.

Thanks for stoppin by our watering hole today, we hope you have a great week and find a way to keep the lights on and stay cool.



Cartoons courtesy of American Progress. Org

Frozen Entree

Snowed here yesterday, big time!  To hear it from the local news channels it was tantamount to the end of times, but we survived.  Kind of hard getting out of the front gate this morning, good thing I have a gasoline loving four wheel drive and one good credit card.

Just returned from the CPA (which I believe stands for Cough-Up Pretty-Much-All of it) and he says that I owe the fed’s some money (big surprise huh) and that the state owes me, so it is Peter pays Paul this year. (Not to be confused with the sixties folk singer bunch that used to play at the Hungry Eye in the Tenderloin District of San Francisco)

I used the short form this year.

It said, “Stick to me, I don’t have no receipts!”

We are getting a modest refund and paying out of one account, into another. God Bless the I.R.S. So it appears that we will have heat and light this month, which is a good deal, I hate trying to read by flashlight.  Life can also get very scary when you live the majority of it in the dark.

Bought a new album, George Straight, on the Troubadour CD .. Title cut is “I Saw God Today”. Lifts me up, makes my heart soar.   Not bad if you are a twanger. One definition of the word “Troubadour” is a person who walks around a restaurant singing. I tried that once at Denny’s at about three in the morning, they asked me to leave. I guess they are not music lovers, or it could have been the getting up on the tables, I forget.

Now I just sing in the shower … Opera mainly …. I NEED A HAIRCUT! I NEED A HAIRCUT! I NEED A HAIRCUT! But I am only allowed to do it when Cup Cake is at the Super-Center buying groceries.  I have a voice that is so loud, that wild animals have been known to stampede when in my immediate vicinity, it has gotten me banned from at least three zoo’s nationwide.

Best Email of the week: “My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We’ve discovered that when I am in a good mood, it turns green. When I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin red mark on his forehead! Dumb butt.”

Now a woman like that usually doesn’t have a nickname like Cup Cake.

You might be able to find her behind the cash register at the local Truck stop or working in the tire changing facility. She be the rather attractive lady with an arm full of tattoo’s smoking a cigar, can of Skoal in her right rear pocket of her over-alls. Lo-Retta sounds like a good name to me ….. Hey, Lo-Retta, you got any lug-nuts?

While we are on the subject?  Someone I haven’t heard from in a long time also sent me an email this week that read, “I see you are still writing. I hope you keep it up?”  Which I thought was kind of a suggestive thing to say of a man of my age and physical attributes … But this is a clean site, so we will now move on.



At least I am not required to go in to work today, that is a plus.  I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I had to do that.  I need to get outta here, I hear the word counter police hammering on my door again. They are coming to take me away!  Please excuse me, I have to go out to the barn, fire up the tractor and move some snow.  Like I said, the Weather God’s delivered a copious amount of it yesterday even though I did not order it, I have to stack it somewhere other than our driveway.


Hangin With Hubba

Have to be honest about all this, here lately, a great many things “escape me” at the moment. Another year older and Father Time has called my name. Like a thief in the night, he marched right in here and stole but another year. This one, much like a freight train with no brakes at all, is rollin’ right on down the hill, out of control.

Attended a gathering of old school chums over the weekend. We are all graying out, getting much older. This was our 43rd meeting, time has a way of slippin’ by doesn’t it. 43 years would be considered the span of a man’s lifetime in the bible or some third world countries today.

On the fifth reunion I snuck out into the parking lot and a buddy and I shared a doobie and laughed long and hard. On the Tenth it was again a doobie (actually this time it took two) and some Crown Royal to wash it down. On the tenth, as I remember it, Cancer had show up and taken a few away and the mood was something akin to somber. Now when we arrived at twenty it was a line or two of crank in the boys bathroom … and this year … Well, this year was a good comfortable lawn chair and a Diet Coke.

You have to grow up eventually; time takes a toll on a body.

Thankfully, we are not the rowdy bunch that we used to be. Age has taught us that if you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There’s always time to be humble later on when you have been proved horrendously and irrevocably wrong.. Age has a way of teaching even those who are not paying attention, a valuable lesson from time to time.

Graciously time has taught us all a new trick or two on the path to our Golden Years. Even a Baby Boomer will reach a juncture where he has or is forced to grow up. Our generation being no different than those who came before us, everyone gets a turn it seems.

Like Sonny & Cher were fond of saying, “The Beat Goes On” … The beat goes on, the beat goes on, drums keep pounding rhythm to the brain, ladda dada dee, ladda dada dah. History has turned a page, a-hah.

I guess it is all relevant, I am just as young as ever, but lately it takes a lot more effort. Like Dolly Parton is fond of saying, “It takes a lot of money to look this bad sugar.” Which might be appropriate for me at this juncture in time. I am still just as gorgeous as I ever was, it just takes me a little bit more effort and money to get me there.  If I were born a woman, I would have need of a “Sugar Daddy” for sure.

Wow, forty-three years that just seems impossible, for lack of a better word. I have reached a point in time, where I am no longer warned to slow down by the Police, but rather, by my doctor instead. Some people grow up and spread cheer, I just sorta grew up, and then spread! Much like the biblical passage … “All things must pass” … I used to eat like a horse, now I look like one.

Life is so unfair at times.

With age, I find that things eventually change. I am now starting for the house after a night on the town about the time I started to go elsewhere when I was young. Sign of the times I guess. Now is the time we learn to watch our step. We are doing that. Except we are not stepping out that much anymore.

The best thing about getting older is the fact that all those things you couldn’t have when you were young, you no longer want. You reach a point where you don’t worry about where the wife goes, as long as you don’t have to go with her. The shapely female figure no longer turns your head, and the Easy Boy Recliner calls your name.

No longer having to worry about avoiding temptation, it avoids me, at least most of the time it does. Lately I have more on my mind, than I have on my head. As my wife and I are virtually the same age, she no longer fibs about hers, she lies about mine instead.  There were two judges in attendance, and I learned a thing or two from them.  For instance:  There are times not to flirt.  When you’re sick.  When you’re with children.  When you are on the witness stand. Remember that, could be important some day.

Funny how things work out.

I have to be honest. Most of the time, I do not understand my brain. Some days I do not understand my heart. I fool myself into believing that I am just starting out on but one more Grand Adventure — Middle Age. I will announce to all or those who actually care, that I am now “Middle Aged.” Knowing full well that I do not know one solitary single soul over the age of one hundred twenty-two years alive on this planet.

Everyone knows that in America, youth is good and old is bad, right?

Women never tell their true age, why should it be any different for a man. But with all this gray in my hair (as I neglected to start coloring it at age forty, like the modern magazines said most American men do) trying to fool everyone would be a waste of time. The tell-tale signs of longevity are there, plainly displayed, for all to see. I noticed at this reunion that the word “well preserved” seem to take on a totally new meaning for me.

B’sides, messing with my hair is simply just too much work, for a low maintenance guy like me. This is something at my age, I just naturally try to avoid.

So we all sat around, we more than likely ate too much, the pictures of the new grandbabies were broke out, and we all described in detail our aches, our pains, we compared our prescriptions. Whether or not some Okie in a pickup with a gun rack, running up and down the Interstate with his tail-gate down can actually save fuel, important issues.

Middle America has arrived.

Whiling away the day in the heat of an Oklahoma afternoon, we told the old familiar stories on each other and we seemed to agree on one important thing: “A happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life. Life never throws you a straight ball to hit, it always throws you a curve.”

See all of you next year.