It’s About Time … Off The Wall

10561597_10204674105265315_8484038910465730662_nSpring!  This is the time of the year when I put the lawn-chair furniture on the front porch and soak up the best parts of the day. 

This morning I was out there early, real early, sitting in the still of the morning, before the sun had come up.

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Your Pop-Ups Are Ready

Now this one is a hoot!  I am downloading some stuff, and it recommends that I drop my pop up blocker in order to complete the process.  Seems reasonable to me, so I drop it.  Then it says I need to reboot after loading this stuff.  

Again, seems reasonable.  I re-boot, the pop off blocker is off, yup, you guessed it.  Here they came like a pack of rabid dogs!  Before it was over, I had “forty-six” ##!##!@!**!! pop-ups on my screen.  “Life is getting up one more time than you’ve been knocked down.”  John Wayne the duke, said that. 

And I thought it was going to be a slow week?

Officials in Lo Prado, Chile, a working-class suburb of Santiago, have begun handing out free Viagra to senior residents.  About 1,500 men are eligible for the program, which will cost about $20,000 per year and will run thru the end of the year.  The mayor said, “An active sexuality improves the overall quality of life.”  Which makes sense to me, and means nothing to Cup Cake (my beloved), I showed her the article and she just growled.

Participants are required to provide a doctor’s certification that states that they are healthy and are able to take the drug.  Other mayors in the Santiago area are planning similar programs.  I called our mayor’s office and inquired about it, they said that they were aware of the problem and already had a new Viagra for women, it was called “Money.”

More South American news.  Lo-Jac for the departed.  A cementary in Santiago, Chile, is offering its clients coffins with a sensor that detect any movement insde after they have been buried.  “We want to be pioneers and avoid catalepsy cases, in which a person gets completely paralyzed for a few hours and ends up buried as if they were dead.  We want families to rest assured that if a case this this every happens, their loved ones will be immediately rescued.” 

I am not making this up 

Isnt’ technology wonderful boys & girls … For a few bucks more, you can insure no one is trying to phone home from six feet down.  This is one reason I requested that my family bury me at least 8 to 10 ft.  So in the end, they can say “Old Don, deep down, was a pretty nice guy.”

No good huh?  Well whadya expect for free.  Chile and South America in general, seem to have a problem with this kind of thing happening.  You can find other related at: 

Tom Cruise has sent his wife, Katie, for a much higher level of Scientology training.  She recently expressed a desire to go to New York without Tom and apparently he wasn’t too happy about it.  So now Katie will be subjected to intensive auditing sessions that sometimes last for as long as 36 hours or more.” 

Maybe he came home and found her jumping on the couch or something?

AT&T …. “Thank you for your business.  We have received your equipment rebate form.  Attached is your rebate in the form of an ATT &T promotion Visa card.  Your card is preloaded with funds ….. Blah, blah, yadda-yadda.”

I asked for a “rebate” I didn’t ask for no ___ card. 

Now here is MY reply in the form of a terse message …… “Kiss the Part of me that goes over the fence last.”  I didn’t ask for a Visa card, I asked for a rebate.  Here is a novel idea.  How about just charging a lower price for the phones, or cutting the consumer a check on the rebate? 

Last I heard, this site was reaching about 100,000 people per day, and now all of them know what lousy business you do, and of course, “I am going to tell everyone I meet, not to do business with you.”  What a bunch of jerks.

Busted some folks in San Diego, 75 of them went to the slammer who were students at San Diego State University (Higher Learning?) and 21 others who happened to be just dropping by I suppose.  Get this.  One of them was working toward a master’s degree in Home-Land Security … A smoker and a toker, he ought to just about fit in.

American Idol is down to just two contestants, which is a break for all us guy’s out there who are required to “give up our remote controls for a period of an hour or more.”  According to some magazines, Ryan Seacrest is said to be unhappy because of the declining ratings of American Idol. He was seen smiling again though, when he heard of the Subway offer of $5 for a foot long.  Randy is dogged about it, Paula and Simon just cannot seem to make up their mind.  Oh well, Boston Legal was good lastnight, but they are taking the character parts and plots too far. 

(Please insert favorite Lawyer joke here … Hi Jack!)

Fox is premiering a new TV show in which wealthy people go undercover in impoverished neighborhoods. Apparently, the show is based on the recent elections. Reflecting hard economic times, fewer of the 18.9 million Latino’s in the U.S. are sending money home to their families.  There goes your $36 billion dollar second-economy boys, tell me, “How’s that working for ya?”  Only half send any kind of stipend home now compared to 73 percent just two years ago.

If we want to stop them at the border, perhaps we just post our recent “economic statistic’s on a sign written in Spanish at popular entry points that would discourage illegal colonization for sure.”  American employers seem to have finally figured it out.  Investing a couple of bucks to keep our workers healthy and happy beats paying for them when they are out and sick.  That is option #1, unfortunately they went for the other … Option #2 …

They discovered that outsourcing their jobs to other countries, works even better.

The corn required to make the 7.6 billion gallons of ethanol that are projected to be produced this year would cover an area the size of Maryland, Connecticut, New Jersey and Washington D.C..  I don’t know why, but the vision of Washington D.C. covered with rotting corn, in the hot sun, flies, well, that just kind of appeals to me.

In other related political news. 

In a recent survey, thirty-nine percent of Americans say they’d be uncomfortable with a president first taking office at age 72; sixteen percent, uncomfortable with a woman taking office; and twelve percent, with an African American taking office.

Good luck if you are an old, African American woman.

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