Back In The Saddle

Yes Martha, we are back.  Just been hiding out is all.  My stats indicate that I have not been around lately, and I can assure you, that is right.  The last time I posted anything, was about a week ago.  I have been working hard around the old Goat Farm, and trying to learn some new tricks on WordPress.Com (By the way … Do you like the new look?). 

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Monday Morning Pick Me Up



Monday morning, I have those get up, wake up, eat your eggs and oatmeal, rush to work blues!

It may be that I have completely lost my mind, but I added a new feature to the website this weekend.  You can now “rate the post” if you wish to do so (and as always, leave a comment if you so desire).

This may or may not be a good thing, I am not all that sure, only time will tell.  Please try and be kind … and by the way there is no this “Really Sucks” button … Sorry.

Just this week someone commented, “I like your posts, they are informative and humorous.”  Did you know that the U.S. Declaration of Independence has a total of 1,337 words?  Words that launched a nation.  The Bible, the Word of God, has about 773,000 words, so I am told.  And the U.S. Tax Code has approximately 7,000,000 and it is still growing.  Now that is incredible to me.

Okay, quick quiz.

What was the name of John Wayne’s horse? Anyone, anyone …. “Duke.”
We all knew Trigger, Roy’s trusty steed, what about Dale’s horse …. Anyone, anyone? …. “Butter Milk.” Don’t forget Pat, the jeep?  C’mon now … “Nelly Belle.” Gotta go, Sky King and Penny are coming on and I haven’t had my cholesterol lowering cereal this morning.

Best remember these little ditties; you never know when you might be called upon to come up with something witty and interesting on the Cocktail Circuit.  You remember that old saying?  “A mind is a terrible thing, and it must be stopped before it kills someone!” … “Have you seen the new bear cub’s at the zoo?”…. And my favorite, without a doubt …. “A watched pot never boils.  But it does get paranoid.”

So, what has been happening?  Earlier in the week while we were on the road, I got this email from a person and it said, “This sounds like the kind of joke you would tell.”  The email went on to explain the joke to me, which I will spare all of you the misery and will NOT pass it on.  The thing that bugs me about the situation, this was an off-color joke, and I don’t tell off color jokes.

I guess what is buggin’ me is this ….What type of image is it that I project to folks that would make them think I enjoy garbage like that?  Well, having said that, I will move on.  It is not often easy being me.  But I cannot be anyone else, you see, “everyone else has been taken, I have to be me.”

Don’t you just hate clicking on an email, and when it opens up you see something like this.  “Dear Mr. Smith, my name is Franklin J. Fenstamacher, I am an Agent with the U.S. Copyright Infringement Division here in Washington D.C.  It has come to our attention that … Now those types of email I read them all the way to the end.  Man!  I hate emails like those; don’t you guys hate emails like that?

You guys get them too, right.

Last week was a pretty good week, all in all.  Most of it was pleasant and positive in nature, and that always helps.  Did get some pretty negative stuff over a couple days about mid-week, but it wasn’t anything that could not be handled.  Especially if you are a kind, generous, and the wonderfully sensitive guy like I is …  A few detractors, I call them “non-fans” but that is no big deal either.  If you chum the waters, you have to expect to find some sharks showing up from time to time.

Just another week, some of it good and some of it, not so good.

On the downside (there is always a downside), I hate receiving negative emails, they drive me up the proverbial wall.  Two in particular really have been weighing heavily on my mind. They addressed the loss of a long time friend, and another was a spouse, these are the types of emails I just cannot bear to read.  Personally I don’t see how some of those folks that are putting a “Memorial Site” together do it.  I am not geared for something like that.

Interesting week … Like they say … Life is not measured by the numbers of breath we take … but rather … By the moments that take our breath away.  I guess it would all be rather boring, slow and mundane, if everything went the way WE wanted it to.

It would be nice to receive something uplifting and positive in nature every now and then, something like:  No two snowflakes are exactly alike.  All snowflakes start out the same: as a hexagonal crystal formed on a single particle of dust.

As it falls through a cloud, the flake begins to change shape dramatically from the cold and moisture inside the cloud, building on itself in a complex pattern.  The only way you could have two identical snowflakes would be if they followed the exact same pattern as they fell through the sky … which they don’t.  It is the same with people.

No two people are exactly the same.  You are totally unique and different from all those folks who surround you each day.  What makes you special is: “When I am around you, I feel more intellectually challenged.  Thank you for that.  When I am around you I come alive, feel inspired, and have fun.  You have that uncanny characteristic that just naturally seems to bring about the best in people; those who you come in contact with definitely are rewarded by your presence.  Thanks for having such a great impact on me.”

Next time you get a “downer email” send something positive and uplifting back …. Something simple and to the point …  Just tell ‘em …. “Thank You for being so dog-gone special” …..  Yeah that would be okay, that would be just fine.

Life …. What happens when you are not looking.


The Day After

Be thankful --- Really thankful.

There is good news and as always … there is the bad.  First the good, we are home, we had a safe trip and enjoyable short week away from it all.  Now the bad …  I am back, we had a safe trip and enjoyable short week of it all.

Here is the take away as Dr. Phil would put it:  “Even as bad as it gets, you can always find someone who has it worse than you.  All you have to do in some cases is just look around.”  This week I saw some poor guy pushing his stolen or borrowed grocery cart full of junk (his treasure) down a sidewalk in Albuquerque New Mexico.  I can only imagine what kind of Thanksgiving feast he was going to sit down to.

Bottom Line:  Be thankful for what you have and remember the good things in life this week.

I remember one year at Thanksgiving, a 72 year old man was sentenced to 18 months in prison by an Oklahoma City Judge.  And it just stuck in my craw, like a two day old pizza, it left a horrible taste in my mouth.  What has gone wrong, terribly wrong, in our society?

The man in question had robbed a bank of $560 in cash with a toy pistol.  The man told the judge that he had just run out viable options, he had reached the end of his string, and he had to do something.  He had been taking care of his 90 year old mother, and the bills kept piling up and he didn’t have any money.

He was trying desperately to keep her out of a nursing home and had been taking care of her for over four years, while he himself, lived in a veteran’s home.  He had applied to 29 jobs only to be rejected and he finally landed employment delivering pizza, only to be fired, when he failed to locate the address on one delivery.  He told the judge, that was the last straw, and that is when he robbed the bank and got apprehended.

You know, it is a sad thing.

We can spend hundreds of billions of dollars oversea’s to keep a bunch of vermin in the middle of what is basically a desert alive and very unhappy.  We can spend $3.2 billion to send a probe to Saturn to take fuzzy pictures and send them back.  But an old man and an old lady in Oklahoma, we allow them to starve too death.

There has to be something wrong here somewhere, y’know what I mean?  If we are to see true change in this country, this would be a good place to start.  Stand up … Be an American … Be as they say in the Army … All you can be.  Correct something wrong if it is in your power to do so, make a difference.

Above all, do this one thing, not for me, but for yourself.

Be thankful for what you have and remember the good things in life in this coming week.  The holidays and the shopping will come later.  It is great to be back, see y’all Monday.


Turkey Day


Speaking of turkeys?  A day off for our new ramrod of the Fed. Mr. Paulson, who is currently heading into his THIRD PLAN on solving the banking crisis.  It seems that you just cannot get anything concrete or decisive any more, $800 billion just doesn’t buy what it used to buy.

Most certainly nothing in Leadership or problem solving skills.

The first Thanksgiving feast was a large turkey dinner that took place in November and lasted for hours.  That is what everyone is lead to believe, not exactly the way it went down.  It took place at some time between late September and Mid-October 1621 according to historians.

It wasn’t a solemn feast, but a raucous celebration that lasted for some three days.  And the main dish was deer … not turkey.  More than likely there wasn’t any turkey eaten at this celebration at all.  The celebrants did eat some kind of bird as a side dish, but the nature of that bird to this day is unknown.  No one actually knows what kind of bird it was.

Most Americans are suffering thru what they call “Turkey Trepidation.”  About 15% of Americans have refused to host Thanksgiving because they are wanting to avoid cooking the entire dinner.  There biggest fears are:  It will be too dry 43%, it will be overcooked 28%, that they will have to touch or clean a raw turkey 8%, it will taste bland 6% or my favorite, “if it is cooked by me” it will be burned beyond recognition and will be the centerpiece of black residue in the middle of the table.

Say No To Crack

Valentine Nebraska – Nine misdemeanor counts of public indecency and one count of disturbing the peace were filed against Tom Larvie, 35. He’s suspected of leaving greasy, graphic imprints of his naked behind – and sometimes his groin – on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine since the spring of 2007.

Too Much Camouflage

Wausau Wisconsin – Five hunters were shot and one died during the opening weekend of Wisconsin’s deer hunt – a number that a state safety expert described as fairly typical. The death and two other accidental shootings happened during deer drives, in which groups of hunters walk forward, pushing deer toward other hunters. The nine-day hunt opened Saturday, it will close in a few more days if the rest of the hunting population can manage to survive it.

Oops, did I say that?

Anyone catch Barbara Walters slip up on the interview with Michelle and Barack Obama last night?  During the interview while talking about the Barack girls living in the white house, Barbara said that “they had to adapt as they would be living there for the next “8” years?” Isn’t Mr. Barack’s term for “4” years?  I found that interesting, she will take some flack for that one.

All The Luck

In a span of 10 days, a man learned he won two automobiles in separate contests.  Michel Horton picked up his newest ride on Friday, a 2008 .  He was notified of the win on Oct. 15.

The entry also netted him a guitar and gold-plated Bon Jovi records.  But that was his second Lancer in a contest sponsored by Bic lighter. free vehicle. Horton was notified Oct. 5 he had won a Mitsubishi

As if that weren’t enough, he also won tickets to a recent Kansas City Chiefs game in
another drawing.  As he opted to take the cash-in value of $28,800 for the car. He said that will help pay the income tax and personal property taxes on his winnings.  When was the last time anyone ever won anything, certainly not me.  I won something for free when I was in the service, but I had to get shots for it later on.

Come Back When You’re Ready

Kalispell Montana- The Forest Service suspended work on an environmental analysis for a natural gas pipeline that NorthWestern Energy proposed building in the Flathead National Forest. NorthWestern said the pipeline won’t be needed until the heating season of 2012 or 2013. The Forest Service said its analysis can resume when the company is prepared to go forward.  Now someone needs to explain why if it has already been funded, why suspend it?

Why not, do the prudent thing, and finish the project, so that when the company is ready to build the pipeline the working documents are already in place.  Oh wait, that makes sense, we don’t want to do anything that actually makes sense, do we?  Sorry.  What was I thinking?

Down and Out In America

Food banks around the country are showing a sharp decline in donations to stock their shelves and at the same time a very marked increase in the amount of people needing their services.  It doesn’t look good for those that are out of work and out of luck.

I’m not sure if this is true, but it’s interesting.

1.      At Wal-Mart, Americans spend $36,000,000 every hour of every day.

2.      This works out to $20,928 profit.  Every minute!

3.      Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick’s Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4.      Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.

5.      Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private employer. And most can’t speak English

6.       Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7.       Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only 15 years.

8.      During this same period, 31 supermarket chains sought bankruptcy (including Winn-Dixie).

9.      Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10.  Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are SuperCenters;  This is 1,000 more than it had 5 years ago.

11.  This year, 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at a Wal-Mart store (Earth’s population is approximately 6.5 billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart.

Let’s fire Paulson and let WalMart bail out Wall Street.

Enjoy your holiday everyone.


“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

Gobble-Gobble Y’all

turkeyGobble-Gobble, Y’all

That is Okie Talk for “pass me one of them drumsticks.”  If you haven’t noticed, they have started.  All the major stores and malls have put up their “Christmas Stuff.”

Being as I am one of those werewolf loonies that becomes somewhat moody and unruly this time of the year, I will ask the basic question:

“Got all your Christmas shopping done?”

Already my annual inferiority complex is moving in.  Every year it seems to start just a tad bit earlier than the year before.  It is caused by all these people who insist on making fun of those of us who have not yet completed their Christmas shopping.  Here it is, November, and the list of things I have NOT done is staggering.

  • No … I have not completed my Christmas shopping.
  • No … I have not picked out my Christmas cards.
  • No … I don’t know what everyone wants this year.
  • No … I have not talked to the wife about where she wants the tree.
  • No … I have not the little fake people on the front lawn.
  • No … I do not remember where we put the tree lights from last year.
  • No … I probably will not spend the weekend shopping.

It is getting harder to remember, but I believe there was actually a time in my life, when Thanksgiving Day came literally weeks ahead of Christmas.  It still does on the calendar, but in our minds it’s become sort of a target date for seeing how everybody is doing preparing for Christmas.

I don’t know exactly when this merging of Christmas and Thanksgiving began, but it was not an idea thought up by the Pilgrims, this much I know.  At least I don’t think so?  I think it was Sears, Lowe’s, Home Depot or China-Mart if you want to know the truth.  Last I heard, the Pilgrims took their Holidays, one day at a time.

Back in those days, the days of the Pilgrims.  The Pilgrims got together for a big dinner and then, while the women Pilgrims were cleaning up the kitchen, the men Pilgrims went into the den and watched the Cowboys lose to the forty-niners or something like that?  Nowadays, attitudes are different, much, much different.  We are in such a hurry to get it all over with.

A woman answered a knock on her back door and saw a beggar standing there.  “Lady” he said, “I am hungry.  I have not eaten in two days.  Could you give me something to eat?” The lady replied, “Well, I don’t have anything but these drumsticks left over from Thanksgiving dinner yesterday.” The beggar said, “That would be fine.” So the lady said, “Okay, drop by tomorrow, right now we are working on our Christmas Card List.”

It used to be that Christmas didn’t begin moving into the spotlight until around the 10th of December.  By that time of the month, it was permissible for children to start asking about getting the tree and later on it was considered all right to begin the job of purchasing gifts for the rest of the family.  And the other important people in your life, immediate family, friends, associates at work, the Cable TV guy.

Funny, I hardly see anybody anymore who admits shopping as late as the middle of December.  But it is common to know people who have all of their buying done by the weekend of Thanksgiving and many already have completed that annual task of revising the Christmas Card List, based on who dropped them the previous December by the 29th of November.

I sort of think that the very best way to observe Thanksgiving Day is not to discuss Christmas.  It takes some of the fun out of Thanksgiving Day when the whole family sits at the table and makes all the Christmas plans, before the pumpkin pie is served.

Thanksgiving is a time for homecomings, love and good tidings should abound.  Play with the Grand-baby in the pile of leaves in the backyard, pet the dog, sit down and really talk to the child who is home from college and with you on the Holiday.

This Thanksgiving, gather with the family and bask in the glow of all the wonderful things that God has provided for you.  Take a quick mental inventory of all the riches he has given you that you should be thankful for.  God’s word says, 2 Cor 4:15 … For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many rebound to the glory of God.

One last thing:  This year I have made up my mind, I will not do one thing about Christmas on Thanksgiving Day.  Not one thing!  Christmas will come soon enough.

God Bless.

Fifty Plates To Feed My Brother

If you are still here?  If you want to take a Turkey Test you can find one here … I got half of them.  Gobble-Gobble Y’all.