Just Type Amen

If you agree just type in “go away you ignorant prick and find a life.”  Where are these Internet Ninny’s finding all this crap?  Look at this picture posted below and tell me if you see Merell Streep.

                                        Thought so.

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Don’t You Just Love The Rain

Don Ballcap

Friday the 13th, you don’t really believe in that hokey ****?  

In the process of doing the dirty deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.  It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,’ said Officer Taylor.  ‘I walked up to Lawrence and he’s just banging away at this pumpkin.’ Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
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Holiday Memories

A great deal of traffic this week on folks reflecting what the Christmas Season means to them.  Heavy emphasis on “memories of past holidays” and how it all seems to stick with them, over the years, and never goes away.  This is just that type of story, and at Christmas time in the Heartland.  

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What Was I Thinking …. 

And now, just now, the local news reports that there will be no revered Dorrito’s Commercials on this years’ Super Bowl.  And on top of all that, ragweed and grass pollen has increased dramatically here in the Heart-Land … So most likely … No peace for me either. Feel better?  No?  Well take two aspirin and call me on Munday.  And finally, never, ever, buy a 12 year old a Nikon camera.  What was I thinking?

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Long Black Train

2196254-crybabywithsadfaceI believe that inherently in all of us, is a embedded DNA code, the God-given right to the pursuit of happiness, and at the same time, there is equally the God-given right to the pursuit of unhappiness. 13th of the month, another week of Mondays.  Don’t go riding on that Long Black Train.

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Between The Lines

Look now for glad and golden hours come swiftly on the wing … O rest beside the weary toad and hear the angels sing …  Old buses always seem to run faster on the way home, and most of the time, the road always seems to stay the same.

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Jus Sayin 1203

The guy in front of me orders, and then when finished looks at me, and flatly states to the girl, his name is "The Mouth From The South.” Now I did not actually know this person, and found this to be offensive. Instead of nailing him, I took it in stride, and proceeded to ignore him the rest of the evening. It seems to me that people are too quick with the name calling these days.
Gmail gives you a whole 30 seconds to make up your mind whether or not to send your vile, venomous, slandering, vitriol laced email or delete it.  So if you are going to call Uncle Paul a dirty, low down, egg sucking Dawg … and change your mind, because you forgot your birthday is next week, you had best be quick about it.

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Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing IT with each other.  Mine is around $50. My wife’s is around $643.27.

Apparently.

“Find out if your heart is strong enough and then ask your doctor about having sex.”   Okay, I will, but he has never brought it up before,

I just know it will just lead to another prescription.

When I was a little boy, if I got sick I went to a doctor, who sent me to a hospital to be treated by other doctors.  Now I go to a family practitioner who belongs to a “health maintenance organization,” which sends me to a “wellness center” to be treated by “health-care delivery professionals.”

All that, just to tell me

“Do not use the diving-board when the swimming pool is empty.”

Commenting on FakeBook is really easy, often just a cut and a paste away from immortality.  The tricky part is spelling all of it wrong.

Gmail gives you a whole 30 seconds to make up your mind whether or not to send your vile, venomous, slandering, vitriol laced email or delete it.  So if you are going to call Uncle Paul a dirty, low down, egg sucking Dawg … and change your mind, because you forgot your birthday is next week, you had best be quick about it.

If you turn in your neighbor for beating up his kids, will he still loan you his tools?

Lori

One of the things I regret in life is the fact that I did not do a lot of skinny dipping with all those young, supple, well endowed, bow-legged women in high-school, and now much older and graduated, wish I had done more of that.  That would be a genuine sincere form of regret.

BEST ONE OF THE WEEK HANDS DOWN.

News Channel Five (Live! …  Late Breaking!  … Really Lame) reports that in Oklahoma City, a burglar broke into a home on the north-side of town, and according to the home owner, all that was taken was a toothbrush.

Yes, hard to believe, but it is true.  Wonder why he apparently left the mouthwash?

Jus Sayin

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Satan The Destroyer

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The Devil made me do it.  Believe it was Flip Wilson who coined the term first.  Satan wanted to destroy the world, so he gave the world drugs.  Shortly thereafter he realized that not all the people in the world were going to do drugs, only the weak, the ineffective, the true losers in life.  The proverbial Monkey Wrench enters the picture, the snag in the master plan has been discovered.   He had to come up with something else.

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Back In The Saddle

Yes Martha, we are back.  Just been hiding out is all.  My stats indicate that I have not been around lately, and I can assure you, that is right.  The last time I posted anything, was about a week ago.  I have been working hard around the old Goat Farm, and trying to learn some new tricks on WordPress.Com (By the way … Do you like the new look?). 

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